My answer

Sometimes my brain gets a little cray cray and starts thinking of the big stuff. The Eternity stuff. Why are we here? What's the point? My whole life I have been raised in a religion that teaches answers to those questions. But those answers are pretty broad and sometimes I have a hard time making them mean something to me personally. 

So I've done what my religion teaches to do: pray and ask about it. I believe in that process and I've seen it work in my life several times. 

And last night I experienced it again. 

Mckenzie had a fever of 103 and so I was holding her. It was 10pm and my sweet angel was fast asleep in my arms. Holding her Dog in one hand and my finger in her other hand. 

And that's when I got my answer. This is why I'm here. I'm here to be this girl's mother. 

And for now, that's all the answer I need. 

Count my many blessings

Ahh Thanksgiving. Where do I start? I love having a special day where I can slow down and really ponder on my blessings. I am always overwhelmed by the love I have been shown by my Heavenly Father and the gifts he has rained down on me. 

Last season I was incredibly grateful for my health. I had spent the majority of the year overcoming my Hashimotos diagnosis and by November I had gained a greater appreciation for my body and my health. This year I am still happy for the blessing that is my body, and all that it allows me to do. 

But of course as my family gathers around the table this year to spout off our thoughts, mine will be about my little family. 

My beautiful healthy baby girl that has brought a new kind of joy into my life. Who makes me feel like I am important and needed. Her loves and cuddles and smiles complete my day and have changed my life forever. 

My amazing strong husband who has loved me every step of the way as we do this thing called parenting. Who has looked at me like a crazy person as I cried and laughed my way through pregnancy and then cried even more when the baby finally got here. Who took over in the middle of the night when I was coming apart at the seams. Who laughs with me and runs with me and cooks for me. I can't say enough good things about this man. I am so in love with him. 

My mom who has truly been an angel sent from heaven to help me when I didn't realize I needed so much help. To listen to my tears and give me honest advice and tell me it's going to be OK. 

My dad who kept me company when I was feeling so lonely and who gave me that big hug I can't find anywhere else. 

My siblings who fell in love with my baby and spread some of that extra love my way. For checking in on me and taking an extra minute to chat. 

My in-laws who have supported me and loved me like always and who are enjoying a Bowen Family baby boom! 3 born this year and 3 more due by June! I can't wait for Macs to enjoy her little cousins. 

My job that keeps me sane. What more can I say? 

My testimony and membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The love I feel from my Heavenly Father everyday and the guidance he has shown me and Bart. The peace I have in my life because of my faith and the happiness that choosing the right has brought me. The power of the atonement that helps me be better everyday and the example Jesus Christ set for me to follow. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Eat lots of food and find a comfy couch to sit on. I know I will! 

Big fishy mercies

In Sunday school yesterday the lesson was on Jonah. We all know the story. A prophet gets swallowed by a whale because he tries to run away from God. 

Right? 

I learned a little more of the details. First, Jonah was called to preach to some really bad dudes. Very violent and scary dudes. It's like today's equivalent of being asked to go convert  ISIS. You're pretty much guaranteed to be killed (or so it seems) 

Next, while he was on the boat running away there was a big storm. The other guys on the boat asked Jonah who he was and Jonah admitted this storm was probably his fault. He told them to throw him overboard so they would all survive. 

So they did. And then what?

17 ¶Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah

Jonah 1:17

I don't know about you but I always kind of saw that as a punishment. You try to run away from God? HA! Good one. He will just have you swallowed by a whale.

 I think the lesson I learned before was that 

1. God doesn't ask you to do things if you can handle them 

and 

B. He can always find you so don't run. 

Well a guy in class had the coolest comment. He said that by Jonah being asked to be thrown overboard he was essentially committing suicide. He assumed he wouldn't survive those waters. Instead of looking at the big fish as punishment, look at it as the way The Lord saved Jonah's life! 

Woah. 

How cool is that?? 

That whale was actually a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father who wanted to give Jonah the chance to repent and try again. He wanted to help (and humble) Jonah by letting him witness that miracle. 

Maybe you all have thought of this before, but it totally blew our minds! 

Hi baby: Sleepy Prayers

Hi baby, 

It's 1:45 am and I'm sitting in your nursery listening to you grunt like a little piggy. You aren't awake, but I had to pump. So even though you have been sleeping since 9:30pm I don't get to enjoy those uninterrupted hours like you do. Still, mommy has come to enjoy being able to sleep 4 hours at a time at night before duty calls and it's pretty great! 

Last night you slept 9pm-4am. 7 hours!! I couldn't belive it and rushed to your side when I woke up at 4 to make sure you were OK. (You were)

I know you won't sleep like this every night, but I will take what I can get when I can! 

I just want you to know that I believe we have a loving Heavenly Father looking out for us. I have experienced his love and help throughout my life, and becoming a mother has only increased those experiences. 

Earlier this week I was awake with you in the middle of the night. You sleep for a 4 hour stretch but then it takes sometimes 2 hours to get you to fall back asleep. The lights are off, I don't really talk to you, but your bright eyes stay open. I was getting really frustrated because I was so tired. I said a little prayer for patience and help. The thought comes to mind that maybe you aren't getting enough food. So the next day I fill your bottle with 6oz instead of the usual 3. You drink 5 of them and pass out for your next nap. 

Throughout the day you eat an average of 4oz and go down for naps within 30-40 minutes of waking up. I realized you have just been hungry! Since you weren't crying or fussy (at all) after feedings I had just assumed you were full. (Silly mom) 

It might seem like such a simple experience, but it has made our days (and nights) 100% different and I know that thought didn't pop into my head on my own. 

There is Someone out there who loves you, who listens to you and who watches out for you. I know it and I hope one day you can come to know it too. 

I love you

Xoxo

Mom 

A.M. Inspiration

"Beyond comprehension, my brothers and sisters, is the love of God for us. Because of this love, He sent His Son, who loved us enough to give His life for us, that we might have eternal life. As we come to understand this incomparable gift, our hearts will be filled with love for our Eternal Father, for our Savior, and for all mankind."

                                                   —Thomas S. Monson, "Love—the Essence of the Gospel"

Enemy Territory

As I prep to teach the Young Women in our ward today I came across this video



Even though I'm no longer a teenager and the days of so much uncertainty and insecurity are behind me, I still feel like I am living in enemy territory. I don't know if this feeling will ever go away, but I am so thankful to have the truth in my life to help me get through it. My Young Women days seem like yesterday and I was struggling with so many different things. Looking back I know I had angels both here on Earth and in Heaven watching over and protecting me. I never would have been able to picture my life and how happy I am 8 years later. My happiness comes from my testimony and faith that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, is aware of my needs, and is always there to help me. This is not only a comfort for my own life, but it comforts me to know that I can pass along this peace and happiness to my own daughter.

Don't be afriad of enemy territory: we are strong enough to handle it!

Happy Sunday Everyone

Strong Trees

I shared part of this poem back in June and it made me so happy to hear it again from the Prophet of God! I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know my life is happier because I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know God lives and loves me. I also know he loves you. I'm thankful that I can have an eternal family and create worlds without end with my forever companion by my side. Happy Sunday everyone!

Pray Always

"...pray always and be believing and all things shall work together for your good." - D&C 90:24

President Thomas S. Monson addresses the women of the Church. Watch it HERE

140
Did You Think to Pray?

1. Ere you left your room this morning,
Did you think to pray?
In the name of Christ, our Savior,
Did you sue for loving favor
As a shield today?

[Chorus]
Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary,
Don't forget to pray.

2. When your heart was filled with anger,
Did you think to pray?
Did you plead for grace, my brother,
That you might forgive another
Who had crossed your way?

3. When sore trials came upon you,
Did you think to pray?
When your soul was full of sorrow,
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?

"Watch and Learn"

I woke up nice and early this morning. I love waking up early on Sundays. It gives me time to study and read with the peace of the morning.

I was reading a talk from this past General Conference "Marriage: Watch and Learn" by Elder L. Whitney Clayton. It was my favorite talk and I love re-reading it. It makes me so thankful to have a marriage similar to what Elder Clayton describes. I've only been married 2 years, but I would like to think the happiness Bart and I share will always be there.

Throughout the talk Elder Clayton talks about happy and successful marriages. I'd like to add my 2 cents to the mix.

"Watch and learn: the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless."

To this would I add that not only is marriage priceless, but it's endless! To remember your marriage as an eternal bond makes living day to day a little easier. Bart puts it this way: I know if we can just get through this life together, that's the hard part. We'll be perfect beings in heaven and that's when our marriage will be perfect.

"Watch and learn: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation of happy eternal marriages."

 I believe the reason this is so important is because having faith in Christ makes our personal lives better, so why wouldn't it strengthen a marriage? Having a testimony can do nothing but bless you! Sharing that testimony with the person you love can only make the two of you stronger.  Faith in Christ is the foundation of happy marriages because it's the foundation to happy lives.

                           "Watch and learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages." 

I have a personal testimony that this is true. Utilizing the atonement in our lives has been a tremendous blessing! When I first met Bart he wasn't an active member but seeing him use the atonement and seeing that transformation of his person is one of the most tender things I have witnessed. It made me a better person, and the things I have had to repent of has also made me better. We share these experiences and it helps strengthen our testimonies every day.

"Watch and learn: terrific marriages are completely respectful, transparent, and loyal."

This is one of my favorite points he makes. He mentions that husbands treat their wives as total partners, and all decisions are made together. There are no secrets. You both have access to all financial information and know each other's passwords.  They are completely loyal to one another and make each other the most important person in their lives. I'm so blessed to be able to say that this describes our marriage perfectly! I married a wonderful man who is not only loyal as a dog, but he respects me and sees me as his partner. We make decisions together as a family and I never feel inferior to him.

"Watch and learn: successful couples love each other with complete devotion."

Love. Don't underestimate it! and don't let it fade! Bart and I were out together and a cute girl sat down next to me and asked when we were getting married. I told her we had been married for two years and she seemed a little surprised. I told Bart about it and he asked if it was because we still acted like we liked each other. How sad! Do only newlyweds grab each other's butts in public and steal a kiss?  If so, we never got that memo! We are more in love with each other now than when we met 4 years ago and when we got married 2 years ago! Older and "wiser" people will tell you this fades. And to that I give them my middle finger. It doesn't have to fade! Keep that spark alive and show your spouse just how much you love them!

"Marriage is a gift from God to us; the quality of our marriages is a gift from us to Him. I bear testimony of the marvelous plan of our loving Heavenly Father, which provides for eternal, wondrous marriage." -Elder Clayton

Daughter of God

I love Sundays. We don't have church until 1 p.m. and it's my favorite! I love sleeping in, having breakfast with Bart and then just relaxing.

I love listening to church music and reading the books/magazines I don't take the time to read during the week. Sunday is truly my day of rest, my day of peace, my day to recharge for the week and my day to feel the spirit.

 I found this video online and it echos what I believe. I am a daughter of Heavenly Father, who loves me, and I love him. 

Take Time

Day 4, : Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it


This one is so hard for me because I have so many quotes that I love for different reasons! I couldn't narrow it down. Many of them come from church lessons or my own personal study.

Take time for work-it is the price of success

Take time to think- it is the source of power

Take time to play- it is the secret of youth

Take time to read- it is the foundation of wisdom

Take time to be friendly- it is the road to happiness

Take time to love- it is the highest joy in your life

Take time to laugh- it is the music of the soul

Take time to pray- it is the pathway to eternity

I read this is a church book, but I don't remember the author. I love it!!

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"

This is my #1 favorite quote. Whenever I am having a hard time understanding what we are doing here on Earth, and why it matters, I read this and remember my life isn't supposed to be filled with fear. I also read this whenever tragedy strikes. You can't have faith if you have fear!

What is your favorite quote? I'm a quote junkie so I would love to hear them!

p.s. I also love the advice my mom gave me when I moved out: "Bloom Where You Are Planted"

The Memory of Your Successes

I was reading old general conference talks this morning and found a few amazing quotes. I love reading talks that are decades old because what they say still applies today. The gospel is amazing that way isn't it? God is the same yesterday, today and forever.

"Yes life is eternal, so:

What through the skies seem dark today,

Tomorrow's will be blue;

When every cloud has cleared away

God's providence shines through."

- Author Unknown

"Hang on the walls of your mind the memory of your successes. Take counsel of your strength, not your weakness. Think of the good jobs you have done. Think of the times when you rose above your average level of performance and carried out an idea or a dream or a desire for which you had deeply longed. hang those pictures on the walls of your mind and look at them as you travel the roadway of life."

- "Great Experiences" Sterling W. Sill 1971 April Conference 

I loved this whole talk. He said we focus too much on our insecurities and problems and don't take enough time to celebrate our great experiences. It's so true! I don't know how we got here, but for some reason it's somewhat unacceptable to celebrate your great experiences. You don't want to brag...or seem prideful...or make others feel bad. But that shouldn't be the case. If you have done something amazing, share it with the world!


The last quote I loved is talking about people who never have to work for anything in their lives and why working for what you have is a great virtue.

"The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light, 
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest kind
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil to live,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.
Good timber does not grow at ease,
The stronger wind, the stronger tree."

When Faith Endures

We sang this song in church today and it was exactly what my brain and heart needed to hear. I love hymns and music, it always seems to be able to touch me the most when I need it!

When Faith Endures

I will not doubt, I will not fear;

God's love and strength are always near.

His promised gift helps me to find

An inner strength and peace of mind.

I give the Father willingly

My trust, my prayers, humility.

His Spirit guides; his love assures

That fear departs when faith endures.

"Be ye thankful," Col. 3:15

Ah 7:30 a.m. wake up calls...by Mother Nature...I hate you.

Maybe one day I will be able to sleep in later than that!

This weekend was pretty lame, I worked two long shifts Friday and Saturday so we didn't really do much. Last night Bart really wanted to do something but we couldn't find anything to do. Does anyone have any tips on finding things to do in Salt Lake? Because there must be something to do on a Saturday night...right?

Well since it's Sunday I think I want to start doing a Sunday blog about what made me happy/what I'm thankful for this past week. Creative? no. Still a good idea? yes.

This is part of my favorite scripture:  

When thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God, Alma 37:37

Gratitude:  A Path to Happiness


"Gratitude requires awareness and effort, not only to feel it but to express it. Frequently we are oblivious to the Lord’s hand. We murmur, complain, resist, criticize; so often we are not grateful."

"Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God’s love. This grateful awareness heightens our sensitivity to divine direction. When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord. Gratitude inspires happiness and carries divine influence. “Live in thanksgiving daily,” said Amulek, “for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you.” ^"

Even just sitting here thinking about all of the things I am thankful for, big and small, is pretty overwhelming. I'm having a really hard time figuring out which thing to write down first. So, these are in no particular order :)

my healthy body
my kind, loving husband
a warm place to sleep...that has Air Conditioning
my mind
sunshine
my sisters, brothers and parents
breakfast food...even at dinner
my talents that help me at my job and in school
prayer
church
good friends
new roads on 9th east...no more dodging pot holes!
my internship
temples

"He who receives all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious," D&C 78:19

this list seems lame after everything I was thinking about in my head, but it's hard to write down every little thing you're thankful for. I know everything I have comes from my Heavenly Father, and that knowledge alone is something that I am most grateful for. Happy Sunday everyone!

"Cease not to give thanks" Eph. 1:15-16

A.M. Inspiration

"The purpose of the Gospel is to make bad men good and good men better, and to change human nature."
- David O. McKay


" I will not seek to force people to live up to my ideals but rather love them into doing the thing that is right."
- George Albert Smith

Peace

7. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.