Cheeseless

Day 5 of eating my anti inflammatory diet. Remember that one? The original? As in no eggs, corn or cheese (or gluten, sugar, soy, processed food, etc)? Ya. That one. FIVE DAYS! I honestly haven't done that since the beginning of my Hashimotos days. Whenever I've gone back to my strict diet I've always included at least eggs and usually corn and cheese too.

After several several several months of not behaving- I had just had enough. I knew it was time to restart and get disciplined. It's ALL about discipline. The first two days were actually pretty easy which was surprising because they are usually the hardest and the reason I always end up adding things back in. But by day 3 I had really committed and it seemed like a waste to just "cheat". I had made it three days- why not keep going? 

Last night I was feeling emotionally hungry and was about to give in to that block of cheese that was laughing right in my face. But instead I ate carrots and hummus and went to bed early. 

I'm not creative in the kitchen. I don't like spending a lot of time with a recipe so you won't see me using veggies in a super creative way or making my own paleo mayo. Nope. Not happening. I eat carrots raw, sautée my veggies in olive oil and grill my chicken with simple spices.  Poor Bart always goes hungry when I'm cleansing because I don't really make dinner. I just eat a bowl of brown rice and I am good to go. (Seriously- NOT CREATIVE) I will say I'm not really missing sugar this time around which is weird since sugar is my jam. Right now I'm really just wanting something to fill up my stomach like gluten free bread and cheese! I am easy to please when I'm hungry :) 

The scale says I have lost 4.5 pounds which doesn't surprise me. When you have Hashimotos it is so easy to get inflamed and inflammation translates to pounds on the scale. Within a day or two on the anti-inflammatory diet that inflammation leaves your body and the number on the scale goes down. My skin is also breaking out- another sign that my body is cleansing. I did get a migraine last night which is super weird since I've only had a few in my life- so I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it. 

I think I'm going to at least go a full 7-10 days and then just add one food at a time every few days. I can't believe I did this for 4 months! I was a freakin rock star with such great willpower. I'm trying to get that back a little bit! 

So ANYWAY. I'm sitting here as my baby sleeps and thinking of food. Because I'm a fat kid like that. Cheers!

To my mom and to my baby

Happy Mother's Day!

To my mom who has loved me every day since I was born. Who taught me how to be kind. Who showed me was selflessness looks like. Who shared her testimony and lives the gospel. Who created a safe and loving place for me to come home to. Who has listened to endless phone calls after a bad days. Who loves my daughter with everything she has. Who is always teaching me and giving me someone to look up to. I love you.

To my baby who made this my first Mother's Day. Who has made me realize I can love something and someone more than I ever thought possible. Who teaches me patience and makes me laugh every day. Who loves me even when I'm whispering how much I'm sick of her. (we've had a few long days...). Who is always happy to see me. Who gives me special treatment and loves me always. Who has become my best buddy. I love you.

Mckenzie 9 Months

Our baby girl is 9 months old! Before she was even born Bart gave her the name Macs and for the first several  months that is what we called her. But over the past few months she has turned into our little Mckenzie and that is the name that just fits her personality! Other nicknames include: Kenny, Kenzers, Mckenners, Baby Girl and Chubby.

Here are the things I really want to always remember about her right now:

BUSY
Always crawling around and pulling herself up to stand on everything. If she is next to an object she tries to stand up next to it. She can now get to that thing she sees across the room and is much happier not being stuck in the same spot. Now that she is moving she is constantly bonking her head on something! Hopefully her little brain can handle it...

FOOD
This kid will and does eat everything. I haven't found a food she doesn't like and I promise we have tried them all! All fruits, all veggies. stuff like fish, eggs, berries, cheese, oatmeal, rice, quinoa, oranges, zucchini, tortillas. I just give her some of whatever dinner we are having and she is in heaven. She will eat a lot of it too. I really am having a hard time knowing how much to feed her because she always seems interested. She is still drinking around 20-24 oz in formula a day but she definitely prefers to fill up on the good stuff. Watching her eat is still one of my favorite things. Now her chubby little fingers can pick things up and can easily eat peas, corn and cheerios no problem. We don't offer very many sweets, but she has eaten a few bites of cake, cookies and brownies. Honestly she shoves sweet potatoes and black berries in her mouth faster than anything else!

NOISE
Squeals, grunts, sighs, blows raspberries. She still doesn't make as much noise as she did back in December (when she squealed and yelled non-stop) but she makes plenty of noise. Her little voice is so cute. No sound of anything resembling "mama" or "dada" yet but I'm not worried. She seems to be more focused on learning what her body can do than her voice. But once she does realize she can do something with her voice she will do it non stop for a few days (like blow raspberries or grunt) until she has mastered it.

SLEEP
This month has been a struggle with sleep. And when I say struggle I am only basing it on our previous months of sleep. She still sleeps through the night and goes down easy (most nights) so the "struggle" really isn't a big deal. It has been a learning curve for us though. She is transitioning to being able to stay awake for longer periods of time. So it's fun to be able to go out and not have to worry about nap time. The trouble comes when it's 3pm and she has been up for 3 hours and does need a nap but refuses to take one.

Ever since she learned to sit up from a laying down position her naps have not been easy. Like I said before, she gets stuck in the sitting up position and can't lay back down and sleep. It's funny and frustrating and I just have to remember that this is harder for her than it is for me and be patient. As long as she stays sleeping through the night I don't complain too much. We are no nonsense when it comes to night sleeping. Just last night she started crying around 4 am and after I went to make sure nothing was "wrong" I left and she cried for a little bit. Bart wanted to go get her but I don't let him. Night is for sleeping. No exceptions! Luckily she is on board with that idea and sleeps really well.

PLAY
I love watching her play! We have baby proofed the house enough so I can let her just crawl around and explore without having to interfere. As I'm writing this she is pulling all the wipes out of the box. But ya know what? She is happy and she is learning so I'm not about to go over there and tell her to stop! I am pretty laid back that way and let her "get into things" all the time. The books at the bottom of our book shelf will probably not have any pages left in them, but that's why we put the textbooks at the bottom! I really believe a baby needs freedom to move and play on their own so they can learn what THEY want to learn, and not what MOM thinks is interesting. She loves balls and books. Those are probably her two favorite things right now.

OTHER
I really could just write on and on about her at this stage. As my first baby I am obsessed with her and how she is growing and learning. It's so fun for me! She still sucks her thumb and every time she feels a soft blanket she will find her thumb like it's time to sleep. Then she realizes it isn't sleep time and stops. It's pretty cute. She is starting to have a little separation anxiety, but I wouldn't say it's too bad. She does start crawling over and reaching for me (which melts my heart) but I haven't seen her totally freak out in the arms of someone else yet. She is just such a happy easy going baby! Everyone loves her and she smiles and giggles at all the new people she meets.

I think as I look back on Mckenzie as a baby this is the time I'm going to remember. She is so curious, smart and determined. We love our goofy girl.

I'm sorry my running makes you feel fat & my happy baby makes you hate me

Why do certain people/ bloggers get to tell the rest of the cyber world what we should and shouldn't be posting?

You don't like that my kid sleeps better than yours? Get over it. 

You don't like seeing my updates after I went on an 8 mile run and you sat on the couch? Get over it. 

If I want to post my daily run on Facebook then I'm going to post my freaking run and you can either shut the hell up or unfriend me. 

The thing about insecure people is that they assume that everyone else is posting things and writing updates so they can brag and point out how much better they are than everyone else. When in reality THOSE POSTS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. The pictures, blogs and updates that other people post are not meant to bring you down. So why do you let them? 

You're annoyed, insecure, bugged or hurt? That's 100% YOUR choice and I'm not going to stop updating and posting about things going on in my life because it makes you feel less of yourself. That's not my intention so it's all on you. 

You know what posts annoy me? essential oil, Insignex, It works! (No it doesn't) and people who think that the "breast is best". But do you see me posting about how they should all shut the hell up? No. I block them, ignore their requests and trash talk about them to my husband like a normal person. 

Why can't everyone just be happy for each other? You ran a half marathon this weekend? How cool! You sat on the couch and ate pizza? How equally cool! Your baby sleeps through the night and is an angel at church? Yay! Your kid turns into babyzilla pretty much everyday? Here is your virtual hug girlfriend. 

I'm so sick of seeing these posts from bloggers who tell other parents to stop sharing things about their "perfect children". Sorry not sorry but if my kid is perfect you better believe I'll be posting about it.

Everyone is OK with the idea of posting how horrible your child is. Those posts get "oh you'll get through it" and "good luck" comments while the happy posts get passive aggressive "wow how lucky" and death glares through the computer screen. 

Let's stop with the double standard that makes it okay for people to share the bad and hard things in their life but heaven forbid someone post something about being healthy, happy and/or motivated. It must be a sad world you live in when you can't just be happy for someone else's joy instead of bitch about it because it's not your same experience. 

So here is my message for everyone who feels like they can't contribute to the online world because their kids are actually pretty easy (for now) and the things they enjoy and believe in include exercising and eating clean: POST AWAY. If people get bugged and annoyed then I guess that is just one less follower you have to worry about