4am thoughts and a 3 month old baby

I randomly woke up this morning around 4am and stayed awake because I was in bed by 9 (sorry it sorry) and because all of a sudden my bed is really uncomfortable. Bart wants to get a new mattress and I'm just like...I'd rather spend that money on a vacation. Except at this moment I would totally drop 3K for a new mattress. 

Cooper is 3 months old and is perfect. Those first 2 months gave me a run for my money, but the last 3 weeks have seriously been a dream. I know babies do that on purpose, but I'm always quick to forgive them. My happiness as a mother is directly correlated to the amount of sleep I am getting. All praises to women who can function on just a few hours at a time, but in all honestly a lack of sleep is one of my biggest anxiety and depression triggers. Baby or not- if I'm not sleeping well at night I become a jumbled hot mess of tears and emotions. I was crying to my mom one day (and every day before and after this phone call for probably a solid month) wishing I could just handle the sleep deprivation like a "normal" person. But I can't, so I put my baby on a schedule and figure out sleep training and by 10 weeks old my baby is sleeping thru the night and mommy is a sane person again. 

Cooper is a thumb sucker, which is my favorite trait in all of babyland and is the reason he sleeps so well at night and naps like a champ. He still loves to be held and I love it too and snuggle as much as possible. All he does is smile at me and guys, I'm still just as obsessed by it. He'll smile when I get him up in the morning, he smiles at me through his crying if I'm not feeding him fast enough, and he'll smile all the way through his bottle. He's also a big talker and will sit and chat/yell at me for as long as I'm in his face talking back. He's scared of loud noises like the piano at church and the chairs moving across the tile and will get the saddest look on his face before starting to cry. He loves watching his sister and isn't as scared of her anymore. Kenzie is SO MUCH BETTER and I can actually leave him on the floor and let her play because she doesn't have attack-the-baby on the brain (most days) 

I went back to work last week and this week I'm really missing my babies. But I'm glad to be back and routine/schedule is my love language so it's good. For now, working with 2 kids is the same amount of difficult, but managing the house is harder. I go much longer between grocery trips and other errands because getting two kids in and out of the car when it's cold and wet and one kid's nap time is just not a game I volunteer to play often. Maybe when it gets warmer or maybe when I don't have to take the infant car seat in every time or maybe when I grow an extra arm those things will become a priority again. Maybe. 

Bart is in full head coach mode and I'm so proud of him! The timing worked out well because now he is home around 6 most nights instead of 3, but it matched up with me going back to work, so I'm not on hour 12 of kids all to myself = I'm not staring at the clock counting down the hours minutes seconds until he gets home (most days). I'm excited for this year and it's been fun to chat about the good bad and ugly of the program during pillow talk. Kenzie already loves daddy's new work and I'm sure we'll be spending a lot of our time on the east side. 

I could keep going, but it's now time to officially wake up and get ready and if I don't publish this sucker now, I probably won't remember until the next time I'm up at 4. Xo


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