3 Weeks of Whole30

Now I know what you're thinking "Um, Megan....whole30 is something you do for 30 days...hence the name?" and you're correct. Except we only did it for 3 weeks so let's call is Whole21 for this post shall we?

4 weeks ago Bart started up the conversation about how he was feeling exhausted all the time, was emotionally eating (he was at the peak of the business between end of school, start of summer football and start of a new semester for his masters) and just overall not feeling super awesome about himself. So of course I immediately took advantage of his vulnerability and said we should do Whole30! It's not a secret that I have stuck to an anti-inflammatory diet for the last 4 years, but Whole30 is even different and "more strict" than that! So after some discussing and "but can I just have ranch and one cheat meal? (no and no)" he finally agreed to do it with me. This is the FIRST TIME EVER Bart has agreed to do something like this with me that actually had real rules with no exceptions and a required length of time. I was totally pumped because I see so much value in real food and it's connection with health that I knew this would be awesome for him. I was also looking forward to having some motivation for myself too.

So I make a menu, stock up on food and we get this party started. I think Bart asked "how do we feel about Ranch?" multiple times that first week- but he stuck to it! I have to say it was totally easy for me to do this kind of restrictive eating when he was along for the ride. We both had the same things for dinner. I didn't have to worry about adding anything to his plate. He complained about the situation, but not about me and my cooking :) I finally had my person on board with the boring and depressing way I had to eat- haha!

We got the hang of it and got sick of eating eggs for breakfast. Our new favorite snack was a heated up apple sausage with mustard on it. mmmm. Bart ate more vegetables than he had in the last year combined. I was more motivated and did much better too. I usually can have corn and rice, but Whole30 says nay, so we didn't. That was an adjustment for both of us, but I realized I am totally good without it! Bart really missed rice and tortillas, but seemed to be fine without bread. He also really missed his milk. I can usually eat dairy, but Whole30 says nope to that too, and again, I didn't miss cheese or yogurt that much at all! Sure, those things are convenient and make for a quick healthy snack, but not having them wasn't a big issue for me. Bart did fine without them too (although we both agreed cheese makes EVERYTHING taste better).

The hardest thing for both of us was our craving for sweets. A sweet at the end of a long day or on a Sunday night when the kids are in bed- let's just say we tried to fill that void with a smoothie or a bowl of fruit but it didn't quite hit the spot. I am so proud of Bart for staying away from Pepsi! Even though our Whole21 has ended (more on that later) he still hasn't had any soda. Proud wife moment.

Bart lost about 7 pounds almost instantly and I've lost 5 this past month. We weren't too motivated to exercise religiously so I say that's a pretty nice side effect! Bart didn't say "I'm tired" ONCE  that first week and didn't need a Saturday nap (which was pretty awesome). I could tell he was seeing a change, even if he wasn't super vocal about it, because he really didn't complain or ask if we could be done. (okay, so he only did that a handful of times.)

To be honest, we stopped at 21 days because we were both just over it! Bored of the food, and straight up sick of all the time it took to cook/prep. We also felt like we had gained some really good habits and broke a lot of our bad ones (there's something about that 21 day mark!) We also had a discussion before we officially stopped and decided what we wanted to add back in. So we are saying yes to rice (even though I'll probably not include that just because I've been fine without it) and milk for him (but not the rest of the dairy products) and then a sweet treat on the weekends. Whole30 has SO MUCH PREP WORK in the kitchen. Like soooo many dishes and time spent prepping and cooking and cleaning. It can feel a bit much sometimes. But I tried to embrace it and find recipes that were realistic for us to cook and enjoy without taking hours to make. I should note that Kenzie ate mostly what we did, but did have yogurt and sandwiches for lunches here and there.

As much as I hated spending all that time in the kitchen, I was reminded of how warped our perception of eating has become. Our grandparents or great-grandparents spent all day in the kitchen cooking for the next meal. Real food means real cooking. And I'm trying to embrace that. We don't eat prepackaged/premade dinners anyway, but something about these specific food restrictions made it feel like we spent a lot more time prepping and cooking.

When we officially ended the first thing I ate was a bowl of plain cheerios with almond milk. It was so good- and then I INSTANTLY got a headache. -cue the eye roll emoji here- Despite it being gluten free, and only having 2 grams of sugar per serving, my body wasn't super happy about it. My autoimmune disease will always have a big impact on how my body reacts to things and at this point I've just gotten used to it!

So here is a sample menu from one of the weeks:

Breakfast:
Banana pancakes
Fried egg "sandwich" (fried egg on top and bottom with a piece of turkey in the middle)
Sweet potato hash
Scrambled eggs + fruit
Egg muffins
Sausage + veggie hash
Omlets

Lunch:
Leftovers!
Salsa chicken lettuce wraps
Turkey wraps (turkey, lettuce, bacon, avocado)
Salad

Dinner:
Fried cauliflower rice
Chicken poppers
Taco soup
Spaghetti squash + marinara sauce
Salmon + veggies
Pot roast + veggies
Veggie soup
Grilled chicken strip salad

Snacks:
Veggies + hummus
Apple + peanut butter
Fruit
Mixed nuts
Leftovers
Turkey slices


So as you can see, there's nothing fancy about this menu! It's just whole, real food. We didn't make any "whole30 ranch" or our own mayo. We just stuck with what was naturally whole food.

One of my favorite things about doing a restrictive diet like this for a set amount of weeks, is that it helps reset your eating habits. It teaches you what "hungry" feels like, and it helps your mind get over the thought that you really NEED that the-kids-survived-another-day-and-you-deserve-a-treat moment that comes every other night. I don't think it's realistic to do this long term, but I would recommend it to anyone who feels like their eating habits are out of control. Because learning to control your eating and diet is such an empowering feeling! Not to mention your body loves you for it too :)

The difference 6 pounds makes

Weight on a scale. What a stupid and arbitrary number.

Yesterday I had my 20 week check up and the scale at my OB's office said I was 6 POUNDS more than my scale at home. What the heck?? I know I didn't gain 6 pounds in 5 hours. Obviously it's just a different scale (which is why people recommend you only weigh yourself on the same scale every time) 

So why did that number bother me so bad? Why did I go home feeling a little down, and eat a whole pint of ice cream because I was in a "screw it" mood? (other than that ice cream is just sooooo good) Why did I wake up this morning feeling a little less confident about how I look? (even though my scale at home still says the number it did yesterday) 

I don't look different. I didn't gain any extra weight. But it's that dang NUMBER that messes with your mind. Why?

I've talked about this before, but on the other end of the spectrum after losing 25 pounds. And I still have the same thing to say: the number on the scale doesn't matter. I still fit into the same clothes I fit in to last week. I look the same. Obviously that is going to change since I'm pregnant, but that's not the point of this post. 

My point is- I shouldn't feel any different when the scale reads XXX or YYY.

My other point- I'm going to stop looking at my OB's scale. Because it's only going up from here- and until I see a number I'm 1000% OK with that! #babyonboard 

What I've been eating

So I'm one week into my 30 day re-focus and I'm doing really well! I don't feel like it's been very hard to resist things I can't have. Which only tells me this was the perfect time to do it!

Here is an idea of what I've been eating the last week. I stopped keeping track after Saturday because I lost motivation to write everything down :)

Tuesday
Scrambled eggs w/spinach
apple + natural peanut butter
mashed avocado with a few bites of left over chicken and black beans
roasted butternut squash
ground turkey taco meat on lettuce
* feeling motivated today so the day was easy peasy *
 
Wednesday
Scrambled eggs w/taco meat
Chicken w/ avocado 
Quinoa/brown rice mix
Green smoothie ( spinach, frozen fruit, chia seeds, water)
Rice cakes and peanuts
Salsa verde chicken w/brown rice
* I was so hungry all day today! I tried to fill my belly with rice cakes and peanuts. Pretty pathetic, but I made it through the day!*

Thursday
Scrambled eggs w/green peppers
Leftovers: taco meat, quinoa, squash
Sweet potato + salt
Handful of nuts
Chicken + potato hash
*Another day where I was hungry about 20 minutes after I ate. My body is just getting use to everything. I haven't really craved sugar yet*

Friday (My Birthday!)
Egg hash (spinach, green peppers, taco meat, turkey bacon)
Nuts and veggies w/hummus
Corn fritters
Sushi and pad thai
*My friends took me out to Cheesecake Factory for lunch where I got corn fritters with sour cream on top. They are SO good. Bart took me out later to Thai Basi. Even YUMMIER than Cheesecake factory. I was able to get rice noodles. I definitely wasn't hungry today*

Saturday
2 fried eggs with turkey bacon
Green smoothie
turkey + cheese roll ups 


Fascinating isn't it? ;)  I know I always found it interesting and helpful to see what other people are eating. Basically I just had to remind myself that it's OK to eat the same thing several days in a row (hello taco meat!) and that I'm not eating food for comfort. On Sunday night I about lost it and just kept pacing my kitchen trying to figure out what I wanted to eat. Luckily I stayed strong. Today I was totally craving some sugar, but I'm really proud of myself. I haven't gone one full week with zero sugar for a while. Now that I've gone a week, I'm more motivated to not give that up for a bite of something. It's been interesting to realize my cravings aren't really controlling me anymore. I love it! I love that I haven't felt too-full all week and that I have proven to myself that I can do this.

30 Whole Days

It's no secret that nutrition has become a huge part of my life. The last three years I've been living on a moderated diet that excluded things like caffeine, gluten and fast food. There was a period of time as I was helping my body heal from several different things that I was even stricter than that. MUCH stricter. That temporary diet was never meant to be a lifelong crazy thing I had to uphold forever. When I got pregnant and when I was nursing, I felt the pressure to eat enough calories to keep my body/baby/milk supply functioning so I started getting further and further away from my recommended food plan.

This year I have mostly avoided gluten (but still ate it sometimes) and didn't really try too hard with sugar (eating it daily- most foods you eat have added sugar in them). It struck me last night that it's November. 2015 is almost over and I've gone a full year of not following my program. I know I still eat better than a lot of people, but I haven't been taking my auto-immune disease and my treatment plan seriously. I'm disappointed in myself, but I also know that this year my attention and focus has been needed other places, more than just what's on my dinner plate.

So I've been thinking a lot about what my next plan is going to be. How do I get back on track? How do I make that track realistic and doable for me? I'm still trying to figure it all out, but I have decided to dedicate the next 30 days to really focusing and trying.

Why 30 days? Because in 31 days my butt will be on a beautiful Mexico beach with my sexy husband and that sounds like a pretty good reward, doesn't it? If I can do really well and restart my behavior with food for 30 days, then on day 31 I think I will be able to enjoy my week long vacation a little more.

So I'm going back to my old rules, which means my thoughts and behaviors are going to revolve around that for a while. And that's OK. I think it's OK to sometimes take a moment and be selfish about your health. Forget that it might inconvenience others or take time/energy away from other worthy things. I think right now in my life, this thing is worthy.

I've never done the Whole30 program, and I don't plan on making my next 30 days a technical "whole30". I will be eating beans and quinoa (because we all know how much I LOVE quinoa). But many of my restrictions line up with the rules of Whole30. No added or processed sugar. No grains. Protein and veggies at every meal. I plan on having a little dairy in my diet which Whole30 doesn't allow.

So who cares? Probably no one. But I'm writing it down and sharing it with all of you so I hold myself accountable. I have done this before, and it was even harder because I was sick and my body was trying to heal.  I'm not doing this to lose weight or feel better about my body. I love my body right now and I'm proud of it. I'm healthy now, and I know this will just make me feel even better.

I stumbled across a blog where the girl documented what she ate every day during her Whole30 process and it was so helpful for me to have that visual! I'm going to have a weekly update of what my meals looked like, and how I am feeling. Again, mostly for me to have a reason to keep track. During my treatment program I had a doctor who I talked to every single week and he held me accountable. I'm hoping this plan helps me the same way he did!

So sit back and read my journey- or don't! I'm sure there will be plenty of other baby-filled posts to keep you occupied!

Daily Dose of Energy

My body never ceases to amaze me! The last several months I have been feeling pretty crappy. Not horrible, but I didn't have a lot of energy. I was needing to take a daily nap AND be in bed before 9pm just to hopefully function the next day. Since I wake up between 5-6 a.m. I just assumed that was part of the reason for my early bed time. But I was feeling overall frustrated with how I was feeling, specifically with my Hashimotos. It felt like I was so fragile and every little thing was throwing me into a flare up.

I finally got some blood work done and it turns out my thyroid was ridiculously low! Like, almost double the number for the low range. No wonder I felt so bad! The thing about Hashimotos is that it affects the thyroid pretty aggressively and I guess I never really got back on the right dose of thyroid medication after Mckenzie was born. Yikes!

After I started taking the increased dose of medication I noticed an instant difference and almost thought it was a bad thing! I was still use to taking a daily nap, but when I got into bed at 9pm I wasn't able to fall asleep for a few hours. Immediately I thought that must mean the dose is too high, but I stopped taking naps and things got a little better. I still wasn't falling asleep until after 10 or even 10:30pm (and anyone who knows me knows that's really late in my book!). Finally Bart said something that totally struck me. He said my body was so use to functioning at that lower level, that it got use to needing all that sleep. Now that my body is functioning at a higher level it doesn't need as much sleep- which means I don't need to go to bed as early. Ding ding ding! As soon as I adjusted my bedtime to be later I was back to falling asleep pretty quickly.

I definitely feel a lack of "thyroid" in the morning when I wake up and I just want to stay in bed, but once I'm up and take the dose and get going for the day- I really do feel great. Now I sometimes take a nap, but more for relaxation than for necessity. ;) I am feeling so much better and I love that sometimes it's just a little tweak that can get everything working again!

The crappy part of this health journey

Ugh. Health. It's a &%$@& sometimes isn't it??

I've been dealing with a Hashimotos flare up lately and it's been really hard to stay positive and not just say screw it. At the end of my 6 month treatment I felt so good. The best I can remember feeling my entire life. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. I felt like I was able to find a pretty good balance and I had adjusted to all the changes I had to make. I was good. So good, that I was able to get pregnant! I had a healthy pregnancy and I had a beautiful healthy baby girl. And it's all been downhill from there.

But Megan, you aren't eating as good as you use to. You aren't as strict. You aren't as obsessed. And you're right. I'm not. and I don't think I will ever be able to be that strict again. It's just not worth it to me to obsess about everything that goes into my mouth when I feel like I have better things to worry about. See my dilemma? Obsess and feel good. Or don't obsess, live life and feel not as good. Is there a happy medium when it comes to an autoimmune disease? If there is I'm just not seeing it right now.

I am so happy with so many aspects of my life right now, but my health isn't one of them. I haven't been able to progress in my running like I was hoping to, I still have 10 pounds to lose from my baby weight and my energy level is pretty low. It's hard because I know how good I could feel, and yet I'm not there. Even my doctors have told me that I shouldn't have to live a completely strict original diet to feel good. But I just don't know if I want to keep spending money to figure out all the little details of what might be wrong with me. I know it was worth it before, but it's starting to feel like a never ending money pit.

I have always felt like balance is the most important thing in life and especially in health. What's the point of having a perfectly healthy body if you can't have a healthy and sane mind along with it? I know health is a constant journey. I just don't like this part!

Cheeseless

Day 5 of eating my anti inflammatory diet. Remember that one? The original? As in no eggs, corn or cheese (or gluten, sugar, soy, processed food, etc)? Ya. That one. FIVE DAYS! I honestly haven't done that since the beginning of my Hashimotos days. Whenever I've gone back to my strict diet I've always included at least eggs and usually corn and cheese too.

After several several several months of not behaving- I had just had enough. I knew it was time to restart and get disciplined. It's ALL about discipline. The first two days were actually pretty easy which was surprising because they are usually the hardest and the reason I always end up adding things back in. But by day 3 I had really committed and it seemed like a waste to just "cheat". I had made it three days- why not keep going? 

Last night I was feeling emotionally hungry and was about to give in to that block of cheese that was laughing right in my face. But instead I ate carrots and hummus and went to bed early. 

I'm not creative in the kitchen. I don't like spending a lot of time with a recipe so you won't see me using veggies in a super creative way or making my own paleo mayo. Nope. Not happening. I eat carrots raw, sautée my veggies in olive oil and grill my chicken with simple spices.  Poor Bart always goes hungry when I'm cleansing because I don't really make dinner. I just eat a bowl of brown rice and I am good to go. (Seriously- NOT CREATIVE) I will say I'm not really missing sugar this time around which is weird since sugar is my jam. Right now I'm really just wanting something to fill up my stomach like gluten free bread and cheese! I am easy to please when I'm hungry :) 

The scale says I have lost 4.5 pounds which doesn't surprise me. When you have Hashimotos it is so easy to get inflamed and inflammation translates to pounds on the scale. Within a day or two on the anti-inflammatory diet that inflammation leaves your body and the number on the scale goes down. My skin is also breaking out- another sign that my body is cleansing. I did get a migraine last night which is super weird since I've only had a few in my life- so I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it. 

I think I'm going to at least go a full 7-10 days and then just add one food at a time every few days. I can't believe I did this for 4 months! I was a freakin rock star with such great willpower. I'm trying to get that back a little bit! 

So ANYWAY. I'm sitting here as my baby sleeps and thinking of food. Because I'm a fat kid like that. Cheers!

Pre-Pregnancy vs. Post-Pregnancy Body

Post pregnancy bodies. Don't mothers always have something to say about them? Maybe it's because it's such a new and unexplored experience. One minute you're at your "typical" size, then in a few months you start to get bigger...and bigger...and bigger...until you are literally ready to pop. But you don't really care, because your baby is inside of you kicking and moving and it's beautiful and magic.

Maybe you got stretch marks and dark spots. Maybe not. Either way, being pregnant makes you care a little less about your body, and focus more on what is happening inside of it.

At least that's how it was for me. 45 pounds? Don't care. I knew I was taking care of myself the best I could and my baby was healthy. 45 pounds never really bothered me.

Then I had my baby. Those first few weeks I felt tiny! Who cares about the number on the scale...I could see my toes and my shoes fit!! I was too exhausted to care about how much weight I was losing. I focused on recovering from a c-section and took walks every day for my sanity. My appetite for healthy things was back and I felt really good.

I felt amazing. My body not only did something incredible, but it was continuing to do incredible things (functioning on a few hours of sleep, holding an 8 pound thing all day, producing breast milk, loving something more than ever experienced before.)

My body kept changing even after my baby got here, and it's still changing. I've lost 35 of those 45 pounds. According to the scale I weigh less than when I was sick with Hashimotos. Silly scale. It doesn't paint the full picture does it?

It doesn't show my lopsided breasts or my small stretch marks.
It doesn't weigh my soft stomach differently or take into account the 6 inch scar that is still pink.
The number on the scale doesn't see my new mom-hips that I can't quite bring myself to embrace with a dress just yet.
It doesn't tell me that my jeans will fit my legs...but not my waist.
It doesn't explain how to dress when I have love handles for the first time in my life
It doesn't show my strong shoulders or buff arms.
It doesn't see that I am back to running and exercising
It can't feel my heart that has doubled since meeting my little girl. Or my mind that is always thinking of her future

My body will never be the same, but how can I expect it to? My life has changed forever because of the things my body was able to do. I'm sure one day the scale will say I am back to my "pre-pregnancy" weight. But I will never be back to my "pre-pregnancy" self - and that's OK

Day 365

Wow, it has already been a year since I was diagnosed with Hashimotos! Hard to believe it's already been a year, and that it's only been a year! Getting pregnant while still getting use to the lifestyle changes has felt like two steps back in the whole process, but I am still proud of how far I have come. In fact, 21 weeks pregnant and I still don't weigh as much as I did a year ago before I found out what was going on with my body. Crazy right? Obviously my weight loss wasn't the most important change I went through, but it is pretty easy to measure.

To say that Hashimotos changed my life would be the understatement of the year. I learned self disciple and gained a greater appreciation for my body. I finally understood that I have so much more control over my health than I realized. I became more conscious of my decisions and how those decisions impacted my life. My cravings for sugar have NEVER gone away and I have probably eaten my weight in carrots. Some days I really hate having to wonder about what I am eating 24/7. Other days I don't have to think twice.

Before being diagnosed I felt like crap all.the.time. Bart really wanted a baby but I couldn't even imagine having to take care of a little person when I could barely take care of myself!  I knew I eventually wanted to be a mother, it just didn't seem possible with my current health. I got pregnant within a few months of completing my program because I was finally confident with myself and my body and I knew I would be able to handle it. I'm so thankful for the diagnosis because not only did it change my life and my health/body, but it made it possible for me to want a baby and know that I could be a good mom. I don't know if there is any greater blessing than that!

I would go through all the great things that have changed with my body and treatment but the current prego situation kind of reverses a few things...that being said, I'm interested to see how my post-baby experience goes as I continue to live this lifestyle.

Here is a look back at a few posts as I was in the thick of things!

Day 6
Sick Like a Normal Person
Day 28
My Moment
Fresh Food Grocery Shopping
Day 118
Day 143

No, I don't want your effing Quinoa

I want to start off by saying: If you're a man NO PREGNANT WOMAN IS INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. Not about our diet, about our exercise, about our weight, not any kind of advice. We aren't asking you because you're a freaking MAN and you will never get it. So just shut the hell up and tell me I'm pretty.






So as you all know if you read this blog I have Hashimotos and have been treating it with a pretty strict diet since April 2013. I love my doctors and they have helped me feel so much better.  

Now that I'm pregnant I want to punch those same doctors in the face. I was talking to one of them today explaining how hard it has been to follow my gluten free, sugar free, processed food free life now that I'm prego. I told him how my OBGYN said I wasn't getting enough calories and I needed to start eating a little gluten to help. He immediately went off with a bunch of really helpful suggestions:

"There is no nutritional value when it comes to gluten, that stuff is poison blah blah blah"
My Response: Do you really think I give a crap about nutritional value most times of the day? I don't. I care about taste and texture and convenience and if it's going to fill me up.When nothing sounds good I'm not super interested in the nutrition label.

"There are plenty of healthy snacks....eat a sweet potato!" 
My Response: I use to love sweet potatoes. I would eat one pretty much every day. Now I can't choke them down. So no, I will not just eat a sweet potato.

*This is where that "don't speak you're a man" philosophy comes into play. When I told him about my aversions to vegetables (as in I will puke on you if you make me swallow this broccoli) he just stared at me with this face that said "You're just using that as an excuse and you need to get over it because vegetables are good for you...." When I tell a mom that I can't choke down veggies they nod and understand and offer helpful solutions. Men just look at me like a fat little kid who is lying so they can skip to dessert. When I tell you I can't eat vegetables I'm not exaggerating, I'm not lying and I'm not making excuses.

"There are other things that can fill you up besides gluten...like Quinoa! Just eat Quinoa!"
My Response: Let's get 100 pregnant women in a room together and ask how many of them are just dying for a big bowl of quinoa. I hated that shit when I wasn't pregnant. I'm sure as hell not eating it now!

I know it's really hard for a health care professional to understand why a woman might throw all of her healthy habits out the window when a little person is cooking inside of her and I know being pregnant isn't an excuse to let yourself go and destroy your healthy habits.

But being pregnant also isn't the time to obsess about what you are eating for lunch and if you're sitting on the couch too long even though you feel like crap.

My body is changing every day and I am trying to mentally, emotionally and physically deal with that. I don't need the help of men telling me to "just get over it" for my health. At the moment the best thing for my health ( and the safety and well being of my husband) is eating Raspberry Jello and watching stupid shows on Netflix.

2 Cents: Super Shred Diet

I found THIS article on my Facebook page and after attempting to read it through I knew I had to blog about it. Scroll down about a 1/4 of the way down where it spells out what you should be eating and your grocery list.

Are you %$&$#@% kidding me?!!?!? Do people actually do this? The grocery demands are intense enough, but keep reading and you will find more rules and directions. If you mess up you have to start over.  you can have diet soda and coffee but no more than 2 cups. Buy lemons, bacon and a loaf of bread. Salt is not a spice.

WTF. This seems a bit extreme. I spent 6 months living what I thought was a very strict diet and yet  mine looks like cake compared to this! How can anyone look at these directions and think "Oh ya, I can totally do that!". It looks depressing and overwhelming from the start and I promise you no one maintains that for very long.

This is just another quick fix attitude for weight loss. Yes, technically this would help you lose weight, but no one except maybe the author of this book and other people who's job it is to follow this diet will be able to do it for very long.

Trust me when I tell you that obsessing over what you are eating like that ISN'T WORTH IT. You will go crazy, you will turn bitchy and you will start to hate your life. Instead of buying 12 specific servings of vegetables and 3 snacks under 100 calories be more realistic. Switch out white flour with whole grains. Throw away those cookies in your pantry. Add some kind of veggie to your meal. Drink more water. Stop drinking soda. You might not lose 20 pounds in a month, but you will be happy and you might stick with it.

Day 193

Today was my last regular visit with the folks at Red River Health and Wellness. I did it! I graduated! There was no cap and gown. My parents weren't there to congratulate me. I shook hands with my amazing doctor and was sent on my way. I will be back for a follow up in 3 months and then periodically check in every 6-12 months after that. It's all on me now. No more doctors to answer to. The real test begins!

I can't believe it's already been 27.5 weeks. 6.5 months. I haven't had a piece of bread or a glass of milk or a Crunchwrap Supreme for the most of 2013. This is craziness! It feels like I just started, and that I have been doing this my whole life. In the past 193 days I have eaten more sweet potatoes than most people will in their lifetime. Potato chips and dark chocolate are my "junk food" and soups are the best Gluten Free meals out there.

But it's not all about the food (okay, it's 95% about the food). I have also been able to run 4 times the distance I was ever able to run before. I no longer have stomach pain every day. (translation: I NEVER have stomach pain) My skin is "supermodel smooth" and my energy level is that of a normal 23 year old.

You guys! I'm healthy! I feel amazing! I am living the way my body was meant to live. I am enjoying my life the way I deserve and I couldn't be happier!

These past 193 days have changed my life. And the next 193 will be just as exciting. I don't know if I will ever love Quinoa and I'm sure I will always secretly want a York Peppermint Patty shoved in my mouth, but I will learn and grow just like I have learned and grown the past 6 months. It's a process, and I'm nowhere near the finish line.

You probably don't really totally care, and that's cool. I probably wouldn't care if I was on your end either. Health is such an individual thing, it's hard to share that feeling with other people. I do want to publicly thank everyone who has supported me and listen to me whine, cry, yell and pout. Especially Bart. I couldn't have made it through this program without him by my side. He is my rock and I know I can do anything if he is cheering for me. It's a nice feeling knowing there is at least one person always in my corner...even if that corner is occupied by a crazy person who cries at candy commercials.

Day 160

As my treatment gets closer to ending I can't help but think of the past 5.5 months! I was just put on my final round of supplements that will be addressing my brain/mental side of things. Brain fog and haziness has never been a major issue which is why they have waited until the end to fix it. We started with the biggest problems and now we are just finishing up! I'm almost there! I have said it before, and I'll say it again: It's amazing what a few months can do!

Here was my update from Day 6:

.  There are many different ways to eat chicken...learn those ways

. carrots for breakfast? why not?!!

. It's amazing to have a best friend who is going through exactly the same thing. What are the odds? God knew what he was doing when he put us together all those years ago.

. Quinoa is still nasty. I invite anyone to cook me "tasty" quinoa and bring it to me so I can learn what it's supposed to taste like.

. Apparently 80oz of water a day isn't enough...potty breaks anyone?

. a week of being sugar, dairy and process food free and my skin is breaking out like a teenager. Where's the justice in that??

. the "I feel full" feeling only lasts about an hour.....I miss you carbs....

. Coconut Milk and Almond Milk mixed together kinda sorta tastes like Fat Free normal Milk

. I felt super healthy at the grocery store. helllloooo produce aisle. 

Here is my update from Day 160

• There are still many ways to eat chicken. I have become the best at grilling it. Even Bart is impressed with my skills.
  
• I now have an egg, turkey bacon and corn tortilla burrito for breakfast. it's amazing the progress I've made in choices :)
  
• I still love my bestie who has supported me through all the hard days when all I wanted was some candy and a hug
  
• Quinoa is STILL nasty. The original bag is in my pantry...every time I use it I end up throwing most of it away.
  
• My water intake has definitely decreased...probably not a good thing but oh well!
  
• 5 months of being sugar, dairy and proccess food free and my skin is AMAZING! The justice came.
  
• The "I feel full" feeling still only lasts an hour..but the "I feel hungry all the time" feeling isn't here anymore either.
  
• My new found love is the dark chocolate Almond Milk
  
• I still spend all my time in the produce aisle. I haven't decided which store has the best food..

13.1 Miles and a Whole Lot More

The craziness has finally subsided! We moved into our beautiful new home and have most everything unpacked. I am back to producing just ONE show a day instead of TWO. The half marathon is OVER and school is in full swing.

I can finally breathe!

Bart and I have been internet-less the last 10 days since moving in and it's been interesting to say the least. I spent most of my evenings/afternoons on Campus (40 minutes away from home) and Bart has been going to work early to make his lesson plans. Who knew we needed internet so much?? Hopefully we will have it by the end of the week. 

On a side note, we LOVE our new house. It's so big and quiet compared to our past apartments. Our bedroom echos because the ceilings are so high. We have an empty second bedroom and not enough stuff to fill up the space, but I love it. I know it will fill up eventually. We haven't seen much of our neighbors which isn't a bad thing since we both hate most people. Someone parked in Bart's assigned spot and he through a little bitch fit...but other than that there have been no problems :)

I was finally able to figure out how to log video from home (without a MAC computer and without internet) and to be honest I was almost more excited about that discovery than I was about finishing my first half marathon (which we will get to soon). Now I can spend countless hours logging video from the comfort of my own couch instead of paying $23974 for parking at the University of Utah library (F-YOU for raising prices BTW). This semester is going to be long and time consuming and honestly I have been making it a priority over work, but I just have 3.5 more months left...forever...so that is what I keep telling myself. 

Week 1 of my new responsibilities was last week at work and I thought it went really well! I have a good groove down and everything seems to be working out.

Now for the exciting part of my weekend...I ran my first half marathon! My official time was 2:27:11! It was really fun..until about mile 11 and then I just wanted to crawl to the side of the road and die. It was fun to have Bart run with me. Since we were running a few minutes/per mile slower than his usual pace he was fully enjoying himself and was a great cheerleader..especially toward the end. I sprinted to the finish line even when my body was all out of juice. I almost passed out after the finish line but I'm just going to take that as I really did give 100% to that race! We made a few friends along the way and I achieved my goal of finishing without having to walk. 

6 am it's-dark-outside-keep-me-warm pic

matchy shoes. matchy bibs.

WE DID IT!! I'm so happy Bart was able to run with me!

After I finished..before I almost passed out.

All done :)



It's amazing what our bodies are capable of! It never ceases to amaze me. I am so proud of myself and really happy training is over :) Around mile 10 when we were feeling pretty good we started talking about training for a full marathon...we may or may not start training when football season ends...stay tuned! We have the Dirty Dash this weekend which is always a good time! Who doesn't like to get dirty every once in a while??

Day 143

In just over 20 weeks my life has been turned upside down, sideways and flipped over.  I still remember being just a few days into the program and looking back I realize I had NO IDEA what I was getting into.

5 months ago I went through a series of tests to figure out exactly what was going on with my body. Blood tests, spit test and even a stool sample (gross). The findings were depressing and a little scary. I had high cholesterol, low vitamin D levels, almost non-existant cortisol levels, my blood sugar was all over the place. I was also gaining weight despite regular exercise. My thyroid levels were also low. Plus I had a parasite, a gastrointestinal yeast infection and bad bacteria growing in my stomach/digestive track. I was also sensitive to Whey protein, Hemp (dang, no more smoking weed), Oats, Corn and much more.

It was an overwhelming amount of information to take in. Here I was, only 23 years old, with all of these problems. I cried, and then I became determined. For the first time in my life my health was almost entirely in MY hands. My behavior would change the way I feel. I wasn't going to depend completely on medication and hoped it worked. With the help of nutricuticals my diet could almost completely eliminate every problem I had. I took a Vitamin D supplement for a while and a supplement that helped kill my parasite. I was also giving a prescription for my thyroid. Despite the supplements I had been given, I was told that 80% of my success would come from my diet. By eliminating certain food groups like iodized (table) salt, processed and unnatural sugars, gluten, most dairy products and pretty much anything in a box or bag (minus frozen veggies) I was able to transform my entire life.

If you have been reading about my journey you know it's been hard. It's been one of the hardest things I've had to go through. Because of that, it has also been one of the most rewarding things I have gone through.

Well a few weeks ago I got my blood taken again and here are the new results:

My cholesterol levels dropped more than 40 points with all but 2 of those points being the bad cholesterol. My vitamin D levels are now at a healthy range and my blood sugar has stabilized. Thanks to my medication my thyroid levels have come back to a normal level and I no loner have anything weird growing in my stomach. My body now releases the stress hormone Cortisol so I am able to run further than I ever thought possible. It can now handle the stress. I have lost 25 pounds and my skin has finally cleared up.

After seeing my results my doctor told me there is nothing in those results that we need to work on. He is happy with what he sees. He said at this point it's a matter of learning how to maintain these habits for the rest of my life because that is what will continue to make me healthy. I would like to think that the foundation has been laid to keep on this path but I'm not naive enough to hope that it will ever become extremely easy to live this way.

I will just take it one sweet potato at a time.

Childbirth vs. Running Downhill

I woke up this morning in severe physical pain. in fact it was the pain that woke me up, and it was the pain that kept me in bed for more than an hour. I was afraid of the pain that would come if I attempted to move my body off the comfort of my bed. Over exaggeration? well it's not like I have given birth or anything so no, not an exaggeration.

My body is NOT interested in running downhill. the side effects of said hill are making me rethink this half marathon I've committed to running (did I mention it's 13.1 miles DOWNHILL???) 13 miles? no freakin way. I only ran 7 and I couldn't walk in a straight line this morning. I was shuffling around my house like a fat old person. Bart says it will be worse tomorrow. I want to punch him in the face.

I would like to mention that running 9 miles yesterday morning was HARD. it was one of the harder things I've had to do and I'm honestly not looking forward to running 10, 11 and then 13.1 miles. For some reason it was much much easier to run 8 miles in the middle of the Grand Tetons on a beautiful morning with no one else around than it was to run down Big Cottonwood Canyon with bikers, runners and drivers taking up your space. The fact that the last few miles to our car were UPHILL  didn't help the situation either. But I did it, and I'll do it again next week and the week after that. Because I'm a runner and that's what we do.

On a side note: I drank MILK for the first time in 4 months yesterday. It's time to test out my body's reactions to it and react it did. I gained a few pounds (Bart grabbed my stomach pudge this morning and said "that must be the Milk! it wasn't there yesterday" Gee ,thanks babe.) and my stomach made weird noises all day. That might sound normal to you, but my body doesn't fluctuate in weight throughout the day and my stomach definitely does NOT makes weird noises anymore. It's not the worse reaction to have but now I know milk won't be added to the permanent list of "to-eats".
 







*p.s. if you're tired of reading about my running adventures or Hashimotos stories then feel free to stop reading my blog altogether. my ego isn't big enough to care. This is my little piece of the internet and I can write about whatever.i.want.

Thinspiration

The past month I have been obsessed with pinterest because we're buying a house (yay) and apparently that brings out the craftiness in me. Most things on pinterest are so unreasonable it's ridick (more on that in a later post) and other things on pinterest just piss me off. Like this photo:

"thinspiration" is nothing new. but it's still stupid. How can someone think this is beneficial? Do you really think this will help you be healthier? how is saying "this is the last day I am this fat and unhealthy" healthy at all? I would say every day you say this to yourself you become more and more unhealthy. 

Stop calling yourself fat and stop making impossible goals you will never reach. stop looking at this beautiful person and think you can look just like her. you can't. your body will never look like that. AND THAT'S OKAY!! it doesn't need to look like that. you are beautiful the way you look RIGHT NOW. calling yourself fat and unhealthy is damaging and stupid. stop doing it. love who you are and let that love fuel your goals. not this skinny chick who you will NEVER look like. 

there. I said it. 

6 Miles

I ran 6 miles today. Not only did I run 6 miles, but I ran 6 miles without crying which technically means I accomplished one of my new years resolutions (run a 10K without crying).

13 months ago I ran a 10K and it was the most miserable thing I had ever done. Even after training for 5 months it was hard! not only was it hard, but it was painful. I walked a lot of it and hated every step. At that time I just thought I hadn't worked hard enough. I thought my body just wasn't made to run. Little did I know that I was half correct

My body was too sick to run. It wasn't producing the chemicals bodies need in order to not only improve, but recover. My cortisol levels were pretty much non existent so when I was pushing myself and putting "stress" on my body there was nothing there to back me up. My body was not supporting me! Of course I didn't realize that until 4 months ago. I stopped exercising all together and just 2 months ago I started up again. I could Immediately tell something was better. So THIS is how it feels to have your body function properly! I'm no longer in constant pain when I run, and I can see improvement if I train.

Which leads us today and my 6 miles. Last weekend Bart ran his 3rd Half Marathon

 
I was so proud of him! He is such a stud and trained hard, beating his personal record! My friends Jess and Debbie were there and were talking about the Nebo Half Marathon on September 7th. 6 weeks away....it got me thinking....could I do it? I was currently training for a 10K and the thought of running twice that distance made me a little nervous. I asked Jess what she thought and she told me to run 15 miles this week with a long run of 6 miles and see how I felt. So I did! That was a 4 mile increase from my total weekly distance and I was curious to see how my body was going to handle it.

This past week I ran 3 miles three separate times and then this morning I ran 6 more. And guess what? I didn't cry. I kicked butt. I felt strong. I felt empowered. I felt my body working like it normally should.It gave me the confidence I need to say YES to that Nebo Half Marathon. Next Saturday will be 7 miles, then 8, then 9, 10 and finally the half. I know my body is going to have some aches and pains. But I also know if I don't commit to something like this half, than I'll never have an excuse to train and see what happens.

It's amazing how bodies function when they're healthy. When everything is in order they are a MACHINE! A well oiled machine that is capable of so much. I'm so thankful to have my machine working correctly and I look forward to pushing that machine to places it's never been before.

Day 118

I know I say this all the time, but it's hard to believe it's only been 118 days since this crazy Hashimotos journey started! It has officially become a lifestyle. I'm no longer fighting back habits and cravings, I just live my life "normal" and sometimes think back on my life "back when"

Back when I could drink milk and have cold cereal in the morning.
Bach when I "watched what I ate" but really if I wanted it, I'd have a piece
Back when I was the best taste tester on our shows
Back when I didn't have to obsess over everything that went into my mouth.

Back when I didn't understand what was wrong with my body

Back when my stomach hurt every. day.
Back when Bart would ask me all the time why my body acted like it was 80 years old
Back when running 3 miles seemed impossible and every step was painful.
Back when I couldn't lose weight and my self esteem was hitting an all time low.
Back when I hated doctors because they just gave me a new pill for the pain.
Back when I was starting to resent my body
Back when I didn't feel like I was ever going to be ready to be a mother because I could hardly take care of myself


When I'm having a hard day, I just think to "back when" my whole life was different. Was I happier in some areas of my life? Absolutely. But was I living a happy life? Not compared to the happiness I now live.

Now I realize a veggie omlet can be just as yummy as cereal
Now 3 miles are my easy weekday runs
Now I don't ever think "will I feel sick today" because my body is functioning the way it should
Now my few pieces of dark chocolate can be enjoyed, guilt free. And that small taste of sugar is enough.
Now I love my body and appreciate everything I'm able to do.
Now I can wake up ready for the new day confident I'll be able to tackle my responsibilities.
Now I can picture myself with babies and children and know I'll be able to be a good mother.
Now I'm living healthy, and living happy.

Almond Brown Rice Pudding

As I was eating my tasty tasty snack today I realized this is a perfect recipe to share with all of you! I can eat it which means it's gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, etc. Plus, it's delicious! We eat it as a Saturday morning breakfast, a quick afternoon snack or a happy dessert. A little goes a long way so make a bunch and save for the week!

Almond Brown Rice Pudding 

Ingredients
1/2 Dates (we just use Raisins throughout this whole recipe since we don't have dates)
1 cup uncooked brown rice
4 cups unsweetened vanilla almondmilk
1/2 raisins
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 roasted chopped almonds

Directions
Place dates(or raisins) in a bowl and pour 1/2 cup boiling water over them. Let soak 15ish minutes. Transfer dates and water to a blender. Add vanilla and cinnamon and puree until a smooth syrup.

Meanwhile bring rice and almondmilk to a boil in sauce pan. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until rice is tender and absorbed most of the milk (about 45 minutes. Some of the milk will still be there, just taste the rice to see if it's done). Stir occasionally or it will boil over (learned that the hard way...twice).

Put cooked rice in bowl, add syrup and almonds. Serve warm and enjoy!