Grey's Anatomy last night was great. I love Fall TV!
Okay, so I was going to write all of this down yesterday when it was fresh on my mind, but since I got the TV for two hours, Bart got the computer and then after i went to bed because I had to get up really early this morning because I left a very expensive recorder from one of my classes at school ( no worries, I found it! ) so this may or may not be as great as I was imagining it in my head.
First thing, in my history class we learned about this thing called "Treating" it's something young women did in the early 1900's. They would have men buy them things, take them to dinner or to a show, in exchange for sexual favors. They claimed this wasn't prostitution because they NEVER accepted cash or money, just gifts. Basically, it was a way for young women to experience the world they couldn't afford.
Sounds interesting right? To me, this sounded familiar, if the roles were reversed. Now, I am not talking about everyone, or even the majority when I talk about this, but it did remind me kind of what guys expect these days with dating. Now obviously growing up in Utah, very few (if any) guys expected sex, but there is obviously other "sexual favors" than just sex. Some guys take girls out and buy them things, expecting something later. Am I wrong? I don't think so. Again, I am not saying that guys take you out to dinner and then expect to get laid, but I do think that after so many dates, guys do expect something ( I don't blame them).
Example: In hair school I went on a few dates with this guy because he was friends were other guys who my friends liked (typical). I wasn't attracted to him, didn't even really like him as a friend, but I hung out with him to help my friends out (heartless I know.) So this kid offers to take me to a Jazz v. Lakers playoffs game, I said sure why not, but then he shows up to my school with a brand new Jazz jersey (the legit kind that cost a lot). Now, if that had happened to me now I wouldn't have accepted that gift, because of course he expected something from me later. I had to be very clear that just because he bought me this, and took me to a game, doesn't mean I get to be his girlfriend, or that he even gets a kiss at the end of the night. He wasn't too happy about that.
So, the Treating that went on in the 1900's is kind of like dating now. I am not saying it is right or wrong, but I just find this true. Both men and women go on dates with expectations, obviously those expectations are on a continuum and it differs for everyone. I am not judging how the dating game is, because I participated in the dating game, I just found it interested that Treating is where is all started.
Okay, so second thing. I have this Thursday night class that I am really starting to love. It's called Diversity and Health, which is a pretty vague description of the class, and I don't know what exactly we will be talking about all year, but last night we had a pretty cool lesson.
So with this kind of subject matter, there is potential for the professor to have an agenda, and try to make students see everything her way. Professors tend to claim unbiased feelings toward a subject, but are hypocritical with what they teach (Professor Brenda Cooper comes to mind). Anyway, this professor isn't like that.
We were talking about Privilege last night, White Privilege and Men's Privilege. Now first, before I go on, I just want to clarify the kind of privilege we were talking about because I think it is important. This Cultural Privilege is something that you are born with. There is nothing you did or didn't do to deserve/not deserve something. It's just the fact of what circumstances you were given when you were born....and there is nothing wrong with that.
So first I am going to talk about White Privilege only because it ties in nicely with what I really want to talk about with men's privilege. So when you are white in the united states, you don't have to ever really think about your race/ethnicity, (until you are in a room where whoa, you're the only white person.) There is noting innately wrong with that, it's just how the US culture is. And yes, I can say, as a white person, that this is true. I never have to think about my race when it comes to why something did or did not happen to me.
Men have the privilege of safety, and I will explain to you what I mean. For the longest time I thought I was the only woman that was scared of being by myself in a dark place, walking outside alone, etc. Apparently I'm not. The professor had us all raise our hands if we knew what she was talking about. Everything from how we hold our keys as we are walking out to our car when it's dark, to where we check before we get into the car, to having someone walk us to our door/car. Even one that I have done a dozen times: When one friend walks the other to her car, then the first friend gets in, and the other takes her to her car where ever it is, so that girl doesn't have to walk alone.
Sounds crazy right? If you are a girl, I don't think it does. I had no idea that most girls are afraid of getting attacked/raped just as much as I am. And the crazy thing about all of this? Men in the class had NO IDEA what we were talking about. They were all so confused, saying they just kept their keys in their pockets and "oh, is that why when I am walking behind a girl when it's dark she will run into a building or walk away from me?" (Yeah dude, that's why). They were so oblivious to the fear women have, it blew my mind. It's not like I was expecting them to understand or have those same fears, it just surprised me how much they DIDN'T know/understand.
So I guess it's like being a white person in the united states when you don't have to think about your race for the most part. Men, don't really have to think about how safe or unsafe they are in most situations.
I don't know why I found this so FASCINATING. but I totally did. And I am surprised if anyone is still reading, I just needed to write this all down before I forgot all the smart stuff going on in my brain.