Eating a full bag of chips for 9 miles

Here's the thing about exercise. It's stupid. Sometimes I just want an instant reward and exercise does NOT give that to you. Exercise is long term and the rewards usually creep up on you and 90% of the time it's just not instant.

I feel so strong and tough and sexy when I go for a run and then I come home and no, those pants still don't fit and no, your baby rolls aren't all gone and yes, you actually look exactly how you looked this morning. WTF? What's the freaking point of going for a 9 mile run when you look the same after? That's what my brain has been saying these past few days.

You know what else doesn't have instant results? Eating a full bag of chips.

That being said, the Salt Lake Half is in 3 weeks so....I'll be out for a run.


Hi Bart, Happy Birthday!

Hi Bart,

Happy birthday! I figured since I write our baby public letters all the time I could write a special letter to you on your special day!

I know you said you feel old turning 29 today- but all I can imagine is the years and years and years we have ahead of us. You are so young ( and so am I!) and we have to much life left to live. I'm thankful every day that I get to live that long life with you.

This last year has been a big change for you- but you are handling fatherhood wonderfully and I couldn't be more proud or more in love with you when I see you with Mckenzie. She loves you (even when she hates you) and her eyes (that look EXACTLY like yours) light up every time you get home. Thank you for loving her so completely and being such a hands on dad. That quality totally makes the top 5 list!

I want to tell you thank you for working so hard for our family, for putting up with the lack of dinners made for you and for finally emptying out the bathroom garbage can. We were in a secret battle to see who would do it first- thank you for caving. Thank you for putting up with my crazy and thanks for admitting when you are being crazy yourself.

I know today was a pretty insane day and we didn't get to see much of each other (you aren't even home now, hence the letter that you will read before I actually see you again) but I hope you realize how special you are and how much I love you.

Thanks for being the man that you are. Every year you get better and I become better because of you.



Shopping fail

Can we take a moment and reflect on all the times we think "I really hope I wasn't like that when I was a teenager"

I had a moment like that this week. I walk into a store at the mall looking for a new pair of jeans. It's the kind of store that has one obvious jean wall but then random jeans everywhere else too. As I'm standing next to the wall of jeans this girl comes over to ask if I need any help. She's probably 16 or 17. I tell her I'm looking for Boot Cut jeans and can she point me in the right direction.

So what does she do?

*gestures to jean wall we are standing next to*
"well we like, have this wall of jeans that has styles on it"

*touches a rack of jeans hanging up next to us*
"and then, like, there are just jeans, like, everywhere else in the store."

(insert looking down sad emoji face. the bright eyed emoji face and the shocked little blue emoji face)

I wanted to cry, laugh and punch her right in the face all at once. Instead I just coughed down a laugh, thanked her and walked away as I thought to myself,

"thank you so much captain obvious. I was really confused about where your jeans were in the store. I was also hoping you could suggest a few different styles and give your insight and oh, I don't know, DO YOUR FREAKING JOB. but silly me. Instead I will shop for something other than jeans because I actually don't have time to try on every single pair of boot cut styles that you did NOT narrow down for me."

I was just not on my shopping A game because I tried on these flowy pants (yes, that's a real fashion term) and the sizes were 0, 1, 2 and 3. Now my left leg has never been able to fit into a size 3 pants but when I pulled them off the rack the waist looked big. It had to be folded over to fit on the hanger. So I grabbed a size 1 all sorts of confused and tried them on. They were loose but I thought that was the style of these flowy pants so I go out to the 3 way mirror and tried to figure out if the crotch was supposed to be down that low or if the top was supposed to hit my bra line (like I said, very confused). That's when a different sales girl comes over and asks if I wanted to try those pants on in a different size. Apparently the ones I choose were from the plus size department. I told her I actually preferred that my pant size was a 1 so don't rain on my freakin' parade. She thought that was pretty funny and then brought me my real life size. They fit much better, the crotch was where it was supposed to be, and I bought 2.

moral of the story? I still need a new pair of jeans...


Looking at this picture

take a look at this picture.
what do you see?
a darling baby
a huge cookie
a mom holding her baby
bright colors

what's the first thing I saw?
my stomach rolls.
WHY?? I hate that I live in a reality that I hesitated posting this picture because OMG I CAN'T SHOW PEOPLE WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN I SIT DOWN! THEY ARE GOING TO SAY I'M SO FAT!!
umm no
most people don't think that way about others (and if you do- shame on you)

I have stomach rolls because of that beautiful human sitting on my lap. I had a flat stomach before I got pregnant. I got pregnant and as the miracle of life starting growing inside of me my stomach stretched and became something new. Then the baby comes and your mid section is never the same. There's a little somethin' somethin' that sticks around with you. But you know what? If my stomach is going to have rolls because I brought that beautiful baby into this world than I should love those rolls almost as much as I love her.

So here I am, posting this beautiful mama and baby picture- looking at it in a whole new way.


Book Review: Still Alice

I need some book reccomendations!  I am in a bit of a funk. My little bro gave me a Jodi Picoult book for Christmas and I just don't like it! I haven't been able to finish it which is really werid. Usually those are 24 hour books for me.

So instead I picked up "Still Alice" at the Harmon's checkout line when I took a sick day from work and read it by the end of the evening. It was so captivating! I couldn't stop thinking/talking about it for a few days which is a dead giveaway that I loved it. I guess it's been out for a while and the movie is now in theaters (which is probably why the book was in the checkout stand). My next goal is to see the movie!

It's about a Harvard professor who learns she has early onset Alzheimer's. The book is written from her point of view and you slowly start to feel like you're losing your own mind right along with her. It's heartbreaking and I quickly grew to hate the husband. It's such a fascinating and scary concept- literally losing your mind. It was so sad to read and it didn't really have a happy ending. It was written beautifully and there was never a dull moment. During the random parts of my day that I wasn't reading I did feel a little off and like I was forgetting things. Those of you who get totally consumed in a book will understand what I'm talking about. It made me think of my own life and what if that happened to me? It made me so grateful to know that I have Bart who would love me and take care of me, but it's still a pretty sad book. Really fascinating and thought provoking- but sad. That being said- READ IT!!


Daylight Savings Nap Fail Randomness

Can we all discuss how much I really hate daylight savings time? It's totally messing with Mckenzie's head so as I listen to her whine in her crib as she contemplates napping or not- I shall blog!

My blogging life is the first thing to go when things get crazy and to be honest I just haven't had a lot to say lately. How much can I write about my angel baby? I'm running out of things to say (but not pictures to take- I still have 50398408 of those in my phone)

I've been thinking a lot about being a mom and how it has changed me. I went to a work meeting yesterday and brought Kenz with me. It also happened to be right by the place where my work lunch was so I was able to bust out 2 meetings in pretty much 1 location and within an hour and a half total WITH my beast in tow. As I'm leaving my second meeting the man who I was meeting with says to me "nothing like becoming a mother to make you very efficient". Amen and amen. I feel like motherhood has made me more practical, more efficient and less likely to BS. If you know me well enough you know that I already don't put up with a lot of BS and I like to tell it how it is, but becoming a  mom has taken that to a whole new level for me. One of the things Bart will tell you is that I am much more "no nonsense" than before. If it doesn't work for me, I'm not going to pretend like it will and I'll probably speak up a little louder and make things happen. I also try to be more efficient with my time and multitask like a total boss. If multitasking was a sport I would be a top competitor.

I'm also struggling with my role as a wife and I'm having a hard time putting Bart first. When he finally gets home from practice I am at the end of my very long and very busy day and I just want to unwind and relax and not have to focus on another human for a few minutes. I'm all "care-taker" out and I really need to start saving some of that love and attention for when he gets home. Any tips?

Moving on...

I must admit that this Instagram celebrity thing is so fascinating to me. The blogging world is fascinating to me. Random people post pretty pictures and BAM- they are instafamous.

Luckily I was not born with very many jealousy bones in my body so looking at these lovely ladies doesn't make me feel insecure or less of a mother/woman/person but it does make me interested. I've met several very famous bloggers through my work and I have to admit that they are all pretty normal women when you are actually in the same room as them and not stalking their social media life.

What would happen if you got all these women in the same room and took away their phones, cameras and fancy clothes?  Minus EVERYONE having the same hair (hello center part and loose curls- are bangs so 2008 or what?) I would bet you would have a room full of typical women. And don't think I'm using the word "typical" as anything but awesome. Because they are awesome. Guess what? So am I. and so are you.

I guess my point is that every woman could have 568493 followers if people really took the time to get to know others and learn about their life. Just a few days ago I sat down at a table with a few women in my neighborhood and learned that one mama has her degree in science but taught herself web design and that's what she does at home. The other woman at the table wrote a fantasy novel and has a beautiful voice. Again, my point is that WHY are seemingly random chicks so popular on the social media scene? The sociologist in me wants to do some huge research and analyze and find the beating heart behind it all because it totally blows my mind. I'm not saying they aren't interesting- I'm just saying they aren't the ONLY ones that are interesting. Ya feel me?

Next random point. My week of no TV was such a good reset for me! I really don't watch as much and I'm going to pretend it's because I learned valuable lessons and not because Season 6 of the Good Wife is nowhere to be found to binge watch *insert big tooth smile emoji here* but for realzzz...I've gotten much better and I'm not really committed to any of my old shows. Even Grey's Anatomy is losing it's flavor for me. I know, pick your jaw off the ground and BELIEVE IT.

Can we talk about dinner? And more specifically how I have not wanted to cook a single thing for several weeks now? Here's what happened:
  • When I first moved out on my own I hardly ever cooked a legit meal. 
  • I met Bart- he fattened me up and taught me how to cook. 
  • I became pretty good at it and together we created our own Bowen menu of sorts
  • I was diagnosed with Hashimotos and all the dishes I liked to make were now off limits. 
  • I adjusted and we ate A LOT of grilled chicken. 
  • We found new typical dishes to make. 
  • Baby was born and TA DA! Mama doesn't cook.
I personally can survive on snacking and when it comes to dinner options I really just don't want to eat chicken again. Poor Bart sometimes gets brave enough to ask "what's for dinner" and I usually make inaudible noises and slowly walk out of the room all stealth like. Here's the cold hard truth- cooking sucks when you can't eat really yummy things. There really isn't much I can technically have that is just SO GOOD that I want seconds. The majority of the meals are actually pretty good, but none of them are OMGDELISH!! hence my lacking desire to cook. I think I just need to commit to the 6-7 meals that Bart and I both like, that are easy to make and then just make those every.single.week. What do we think about that plan?

Ok ok well Beast is now on my lap and my skilled self is typing this under the drawer so she doesn't take over the keyboard. Like I said- skills. Time to go make fake dinner. I hope you all enjoyed reading my random thoughts. I think I'm just going to be random on here because I really have nothing else to offer right now. You're welcome. BYE!!!


7 months

Are you ready for photo overload? Does that even exist in motherhood? My future children are going to be so jealous of all the pics Mckenzie has of herself pretty much every single day of her young life. #sorrynotsorry

My baby is 7 months old today! I use to laugh at moms who knew exactly how old their kids were- down to the month- but I totally get it now! Surviving another month is a big freakin accomplishment and babies change SO MUCH in just a matter of weeks!

That being said, not much has changed since her last update :) She made pretty big steps when I was writing her 6 month update so I guess she is just taking a break from doing new things for the moment.

She does eat a lot more solid foods. I can tell she is actually "hungry" for them and more interested. It's been fun to see that skill develop.


February goal: run!

So my original February goal became unattainable just a few days after I wrote those goals down. An injury made me sit out for about 3 and a half weeks and I didn't want to try to get ready for a half marathon in just a few weeks and risk injuring myself again. So I tweaked my goal a little and just said that I wanted to get back into running and be consistent. Not a very good goal since it wasn't super specific, but I would say that I was able to achieve my February goal. I ran 4 days a week and clocked in 40 miles and it's only going up from here!

I got lucky because the first few weeks of February were beautiful and it really got me itching to run. I love running out in the sunshine with that heat bouncing off my skin- it's one of my favorite things. By the time bad weather rolled around I was already committed and in the habit so the running continued. I have a hard time on treadmills, so rain or shine, I prefer to run outside. 

Another perk of coming back from injury was that I came back about 1.5 minutes faster per mile! It's so crazy and I have no idea what happened, but being faster has made running even more fun and now I like to go out there and push myself and see how fast I can go.

I'm officially in training mode because the Slat Lake City Half is on April 18- about 6 weeks away. I like being in training mode because it really takes away the option of running. It's not a matter of if I'm going to go out, it's a matter of when. That kind of commitment makes the decision easier. 

I'm proud of how my February goal turned out and now it's on to March. The goal is to spend every Sunday completely un-plugged and I totally bombed the first Sunday. Good thing there are 5 this month to give me plenty of chances! Wish me luck. 


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