More S%$@ Bart Says

For this edition of S%$@ Bart says it wasn't conversations...just plenty of one liners! 

I always wanted to date a deaf girl, but I got you instead...so I guess that's kind of close

My goal this year is to have a 100% pass rate when it comes to who has a penis and who has a vagina

I don't know if your ring is a non-conflict ring. But it's only a third of a diamond so I doubt very many people died over it.

It's so hot in here my farts feel cold

We're not women. We don't have to sync our cycles to get to know each other

You know what substitute teachers are.... Unemployed

Go to bed woman, there's only so many hours in a day that I can put up with you


Happy 23!

Happy Birthday to my dear friend Sarah Gardner! She turns 23 today and this post is for her

11 Things that I love about Sarah

1. she laughs really really loud in movie theaters and doesn't even care
2. she matches sparkles and animal print like a boss
3. she's genuinely kind to the majority of most people
4. like a true friend, she has always been happy for my happiness
5. she has impeccable 80's dancing skills and taught me all that i know
6. she has matching outfits with her dogs
7. she can find a gem within the Clearance rack
8. she treats her puppies like her children ( and she's the only one I don't mind doing this btdubs)
9. she lets Bart and I crash on her blow up mattress whenever we need a place to stay down south
10. she kicks ass at crafts, blogging, cosmetology, teaching, etc
11. she thinks I'm funny and appreciates my humor

12 of my favorite memories

1. when I first met Sarah she wore red, white and blue on a regular basis and didn't care that it wasn't the 4th of July
2. cruising around in her red Mustang convertible feeling pretty dang cool
3. taking that same Mustang and heading south to St. George to hang by the pool, buy matching outfits and play midnight tennis
4. going 80's dancing every week protecting each other with code words and names *cough* roxanne* cough*
5. laughing at each other's jokes because no one else thinks we're funny
6. shopping in Vegas like we had money to spend...( we didn't )
7. hanging out in a bathtub because the hot tub was closed
8. Being one of her bridesmaids wearing a dress that really only SHE could pull off...but we all tried anyway
9. when she was one of MY bridesmaids and threw an amazing bachelorette party where we created Playdough penises
10. being able to call/text/message her whenever, even if it's been forever since we've talked, and know it's all good
11. wading through freezing cold water and climbing rocks with our hubbies and children (aka dogs)
12. attempting to play video-interactive games and failing miserably.


23 Reasons I consider her my very best friend

Happy Birthday Sarah! I hope you have/had an amazing day. You deserve all the happiness in the world!!

love always,


Let women pray in church

This is the latest goal for a group of members....(at least I THINK they're members) of the LDS church. I was annoyed at Wear Pants to Church Day but I kept quiet about it. Now after reading a press release about it I can't shut up anymore..

if you (or your friends) have left the church because they feel they are unequal then guess what, that's YOUR problem. not the church. what makes you think that since your feelings are hurt the church is going to change everything? if you understood the LDS religion then you would understand that leaders of the church aren't their own boss. God is. Whatever they do and say in the name of the Church is in the name of the God they worship. don't flatter yourselves into thinking you can change the mind of a higher power because you're butt hurt about being a woman. if you understood the gospel you would understand how valuable and special women are seen in the church. we're actually a pretty big deal to the gospel, even if we've never prayed in General Conference. I'm all for equal rights but seriously? GET OVER IT. I'm sorry you weren't born with a penis, but that doesn't mean you're picked on, and in my opinion, drawing attention to things like this is what creates the inequality. Women are equal to men, that doesn't mean they have to be the SAME as men.

and by the way, it's not just the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that has different gender roles. THE WORLD has gender roles. Gender Roles isn't interchangeable with Gender Inequality. the sooner women stop bitching about EVERYTHING the sooner people will start treating women the same as men. be PROUD of being different. be PROUD of being a woman.

a woman who is proud to not have a penis and doesn't expect to ever be treated like she does.


Paper and Pencil (and stairs)

am i the only one who walks up three flights of stairs and then tries really hard to breathe normally once i get into class so it looks like i can dominate those stairs like an athlete? because that's the story of my life these days. what, 50 stairs? pfffft. no prob.

so after my observations i've notice that men wearing hats and scarves IS a thing. am i sexist if i say that it shouldn't be?

True or False

You should wear leggings like they're pants
Big nerdy glasses are attractive
Guys with skinny jeans, backpacks and beanies are still considered cool

I feel like i'm writing my own personal Mean Girls burn book. i should really stop getting to class so early so i don't have as much time to mock people.


Paper and Pencil

It's been at least 6 years since I have taken a math class. I may be smart, but I'm not smart enough to remember all that I need to 6 years later...therefore I am currently taking a Math 1010 class.

I'm using a notebook people. a NOTEBOOK! like with paper.. remember that? I'm also using this thing they  call a pencil....

It's a two hour class and here are my train of thoughts throughout....

How would I simplify the equation? Well am I allowed to take out those letters? no? Okay.....

...5-(-7+9)... ...turn it into a smiley face and make everything positive! 

I wish these boys next to me would shut up...why do you sit in the third row if you're going to talk? oh cool, thanks for chucking your pen at me.. let me just gather up all my crap and find it for you...dang these pants are tight...I can almost reach it....success! here you go bro.

so she assigns homework...but doesn't collect it? she's THAT kind of teacher. nice.

note to self: bring snacks. 
note to self: eat dinner before class so you don't need to bring snacks
note to self: you DID eat dinner before class...
note to self:......well then I guess the fat kid in me will just need some snacks too.

it should be an interesting semester....


Chinese Pot Stickers

I wrote this same post a few days ago and then accidentally deleted it. usually i wouldn't be terribly upset by that idea except this post was funny and clever and we all know you can't force that kind of genius! So I will try again, but I apologize in advance for the quality of my cleverness.

Bart is usually the one in the kitchen making something tasty, but I have become quite the kitchen boss myself recently! My boss-ness doesn't have too much to do with this post though since we were BOTH creating magic in the kitchen for New Years. 

We were trying to think of what we wanted to do for New Years Eve and what did the fat kids in us decide?  LETS MAKE STUFF! We didn't have anything specific in mind so we just Googled Appetizers and came upon Pot Stickers, Tempura Veggies, Crab Cakes and a Raspberry Mocktail. Random combination? We know, that was half the fun! So we made a list, and $85 later we were ready to go!

Now the one thing we haven't mastered is portion control. Most specifically changing recipes to accommodate the fact that there is only two of us eating, not a large family. We didn't do that with pot stickers so we ended up with lots. Luckily the fat kids in us handled it and were able to eat everything. It was so delish! I was very proud of us. This is a perfect recipe for any kind of party, but also if you're just wanting to mix up your usual menu!

When the time comes, we are going to be able to throw an awesome dinner party!

Here's the recipe for Chinese Pot Stickers


    • 2 cups cabbage, finely chopped
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 1/2 lb shrimp, peeled and finely chopped
    • 1 lb lean pork, ground
    • 2 tablespoons light soy sauce
    • 2 tablespoons rice wine, sherry or 2 tablespoons white wine -We used sherry, it was in the spice aisle-
    • 1 tablespoon green onions, chopped
    • 1 tablespoon sesame oil - This was like $56 so we just used olive oil instead-
    • 2 teaspoons fresh ginger, chopped
    • 2 garlic cloves, minced
    • 64 wonton wrappers ( usually 1 pkg)   - Ended up going to an Oriental Market for these--
    • 1/4 cup vegetable oil
    • 1 cup chicken stock


    • 2 tablespoons light soy sauce - this was a bit too vinegar-y for us so we added more soy sauce--
    • 1 tablespoon rice vinegar
    • 1 teaspoon fresh ginger, minced


  1. Sprinkle salt over the shredded cabbage and let stand for 5 minutes, then squeeze out liquid.
  2. Squeeze out any liquid from the shrimp.
  3. Mix cabbage, shrimp, pork, soy, wine, onion, oil, ginger and garlic 
  4. On each wrapper (keep them covered with a damp cloth so they do no dry out) place about 2 tsp of the mix and seal the edges, use a bit of water on the edge, try to press out all the air and ensure they are tightly sealed
  5. In 2 large skillets heat 1 tbsp oil, fry 16 dumplings for 1 minute or until golden on one side add 1/4 cup of stock into the pan, reduce heat to low, cover and cook, without turning for about 7 minutes or until the dumpling is translucent and most of the liquid has evaporated Uncover and on higher heat cook for another 5-7 minutes or until the bottoms are dark brown, drain put on a platter and keep warm.
  6. Repeat for the remaining 32 dumplings.
  7. Mix the dipping sauce and serve with warm or hot dumplings.


My Year in Pictures

Happy New Year! 2012 was a great year and I look forward to what 2013 brings! Last night I was going through pictures and got a little collage happy. Instead of flooding my instagram (which I did anyway) I decided to share them here!

First we have "Imafatkid". These are only a few of the things created at Cafe Bowen this year. I have been experimenting with cooking more and more and Bart is a great cook. We enjoy our time in the kitchen! in 2012 I canned some peaches, learned how to make a few soups, made my first pie and of course holiday candy. Cookies are a staple at Cafe Bowen and Bart perfected his omelets this year too!

Next up is "A.M. Real Job" with just a sneak peek of my past few months at work. I have been at ABC4 since June and have learned so much! I'm lucky to work with patient people who are willing to teach me and put up with my stupid questions and silly mistakes. Having a sloth at work is just a regular day!

This next collage is simply named "Moments". I loved sitting by the Christmas tree this year with some hot cocoa. We went through a few boxes this year and I may or may not have been addicted. My niece Ameri is such a doll and I love any chance I get to spend with her. This picture was taken in the Summer as we played in the grass. The "I love you infinity" note was written one of the many mornings Bart and I were up early eating breakfast together. Sometimes notes are better than words. One of my favorite pics of the year is this cute baby elephant who was jealous of all the attention her mom was getting, so she kept peaking out behind the fence and rock. 

I really love this next collage "Family". Obviously not all of my family is shown, and that simply means I didn't have a photo of them to use! (Jenny, Dad and Jake, we need to fix this!!)

The one of Bart and I is cut off, but you have probably seen it before. I LOVE this picture of us. 

Next up is one of my fav pics of my BFF Sarah. She is such a beautiful person inside and out and I'm lucky to have her as a friend! 

The pictures of my mom and brother were both taken on the day we flew to Boise for a football game. I was terrified of the plane so my mom was trying to distract me. 

Dallin and I had great seats and it was fun having one-on-one time with him. 

The pictures of my nieces are special to me, and I'm happy I got a chance to see them in December! 

And last but not least, the picture taken with my baby sister Katie! She discovered that SheDaisy was playing in PG and we just HAD to go! It was so much fun hanging out with her. I realized that day it was really the first time her and I ever really hung out as friends AND sisters. I look forward to more days like that :)

I read a lot of books this year. A LOT. "Reading Time" shows a few of those. I went through phases where I would buy a new book every few days after I had finished a different one. Then around book 5 I realized I should probably stop buying so many and took a break....only to resume my habits a month or so later. Bart reminded me that there is a thing called a Library and to be honest that had never crossed my mind! I don't love libraries... I feel like I can't find anything good to read. These are just a few of my favorites from this year. 

My friend Chelsey was so sweet and sent me The Fault in Our Stars and I absolutely loved it. I read it within 24 hours. 

We Need to Talk About Kevin is a very good read, and it gets you thinking. 

Jodi Picoult is my favorite author and I have most of her books. I especially enjoyed her newest book Lone Wolf

Born To Run is the book that inspired Bart and I to start running. Even if you aren't a runner you should read this book. 

I discovered So Much For That one day roaming the isles of Barns and Noble. This is the kind of book you can read again and again! 

There were many others that I read in 2012, but these were some of my favs. I am always looking for new things to read, so if you have any suggestions.....suggest away!

I had a lot of fun writing this blog post today! Obviously this is only a sampling of what happened in 2012. Thank goodness for pictures right?? They making telling a story so much easier :)


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