Hi baby: sleepy love

Hi my sweet baby boy,

It's 6am and we've been cuddling since 4:30. While your sleeping has improved, it's still not sleeping through the night and let's be honest- that's really the only milestone worth celebrating when it comes to sleep. For now you go down for bed around 7pm, wake to eat around 1-2am and then it's a wild card until we get up for the day at 6am. Sometimes you just need your binki around 3, but usually it's your "witching hour" and you don't sleep very peacefully. I know it will get better and I'm trying to be patient. Your daddy helps me so I'm getting about 6 good hours of sleep and that helps keep me sane. 

I think the hardest part this time around is you not having your own room. Right now you're out in the landing in between the two bedrooms which means every time you start yelling at night I'm worried you will wake your sister so you get way more attention than she did! Sometimes you get put in my walk-in closet because that's the best place to keep noise away from you, and potential crying in the middle of the night away from her. I've even had the thought of turning our pantry downstairs into your temporary space. Don't judge me- I'm sleep deprived. 

You two will share a room eventually- I just have no idea when that will be. Your sister is still in her crib, and I'm in no rush to get her out (but I think she's going to realize she can climb out any day now) and I'm worried at this point she would crawl into your crib and smother you if you 2 shared a space...so for now you're in the hall and getting spoiled at night. You're welcome. 

You starting smiling and cooing last week and it just melts my heart! I really love it when my babies start interacting and even though I'm trying to not wish away time, I'm excited for you to grow and develop. Your sister was such a fun baby to be around and I loved watching her learn and grow. I am looking forward to doing that with you. 

We just finished Christmas weekend and I loved having you be a part of all the festivities. Having 2 kids has just become our new normal and while it's overwhelming a lot of the time, it feels natural and I'm really glad you're here! Your sister seems to have adjusted to you and still loves you really hard. Don't worry, your dad and I are keeping you alive. 

I don't get very much one-on-one time with you to just chat and play and stare at you. I miss it, and know that's just a luxury I can't really expect anymore- but I love you just as much as your crazy goofy sister and I'm so happy I get 5 more weeks of you and Kenzie before going back to work. 

I love you handsome boy, stay strong and keep growing



Cooper 1 Month

I was reading through Kenzie's monthly updates and I love remembering it, so I'm going to do my best at updating Cooper too.  I have a hard time blogging at all since my hands are full all day long, and I'm not in the mood in the middle of the night. 

I am the living example of "no 2 kids are the same" and it's been that way since day 1. Kenzie wasn't a sleepy newborn. Cooper was. Cooper could be held all day and night to sleep. Kenzie had to be put down &; didn't like to cuddle. Kenzie wasn't an awesome napper, but dominated night sleep. Cooper rocks his naps but totally sucks at night. Kenzie was an awesome eater and chugged her bottle & ate consistent amounts. I have wasted so much formula with Cooper because he eats random amounts. He has tummy issues, she never did. She loved to sit in her baby chair and chill, he really just wants to be held and loved on & cries if you put him down for more than a few minutes. 

Are you catching my drift here?? 

But he's also so sweet. I love that he loves to cuddle (most of the time). And I really love him. Yesterday was a really hard day. At the end of it I said out loud "I hate my life right now" and as I was holding Cooper when he wouldn't sleep I said I hate that you can't sleep well at night. I hate how tired I am. I hate how stressed and overwhelmed I feel. I hate cleaning my house. I hate my house (mostly because I'm stuck in it all day) And I hate this day. But I really really really love you. And I think that sums up motherhood really well- don't you? We do things every single day we don't like, or things that don't seem important but seem SO redundant and we do them all for the people we love the most. My love for my son doesn't go away just because his witching hour is from 2-6am. My love for that day doesn't exists, but my love for him stays. And thank goodness for that! 

As much as I love him, I can't wait for the night that he sleeps on a predicable schedule and maybe longer than 3 hours at a time 😬 I think the thing keeping me sane is knowing that eventually he will sleep. I don't know when, and it isn't looking like it will be as soon as his sister did, but I know one day he will. Even if I have to wait until he's old enough to let him cry and figure it out himself 👍🏻 


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