Hi baby: sleepy love

Hi my sweet baby boy,

It's 6am and we've been cuddling since 4:30. While your sleeping has improved, it's still not sleeping through the night and let's be honest- that's really the only milestone worth celebrating when it comes to sleep. For now you go down for bed around 7pm, wake to eat around 1-2am and then it's a wild card until we get up for the day at 6am. Sometimes you just need your binki around 3, but usually it's your "witching hour" and you don't sleep very peacefully. I know it will get better and I'm trying to be patient. Your daddy helps me so I'm getting about 6 good hours of sleep and that helps keep me sane. 

I think the hardest part this time around is you not having your own room. Right now you're out in the landing in between the two bedrooms which means every time you start yelling at night I'm worried you will wake your sister so you get way more attention than she did! Sometimes you get put in my walk-in closet because that's the best place to keep noise away from you, and potential crying in the middle of the night away from her. I've even had the thought of turning our pantry downstairs into your temporary space. Don't judge me- I'm sleep deprived. 

You two will share a room eventually- I just have no idea when that will be. Your sister is still in her crib, and I'm in no rush to get her out (but I think she's going to realize she can climb out any day now) and I'm worried at this point she would crawl into your crib and smother you if you 2 shared a space...so for now you're in the hall and getting spoiled at night. You're welcome. 

You starting smiling and cooing last week and it just melts my heart! I really love it when my babies start interacting and even though I'm trying to not wish away time, I'm excited for you to grow and develop. Your sister was such a fun baby to be around and I loved watching her learn and grow. I am looking forward to doing that with you. 

We just finished Christmas weekend and I loved having you be a part of all the festivities. Having 2 kids has just become our new normal and while it's overwhelming a lot of the time, it feels natural and I'm really glad you're here! Your sister seems to have adjusted to you and still loves you really hard. Don't worry, your dad and I are keeping you alive. 

I don't get very much one-on-one time with you to just chat and play and stare at you. I miss it, and know that's just a luxury I can't really expect anymore- but I love you just as much as your crazy goofy sister and I'm so happy I get 5 more weeks of you and Kenzie before going back to work. 

I love you handsome boy, stay strong and keep growing


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