The Novel of My Life

So even though it is 6 a.m. and it pains me (literally) to have this laptop placed on the top of my legs, I really need to blog because I have been in this same spot since 2:30 p.m. yesterday, which yes, is a long time. I of course have gotten up to pee (with Bart's help) and I took 2 walks out to the front room (with Bart's help) but that is about all the moving I have done. Great news though, I am able to walk the 12 steps to the bathroom by myself now so that's a happy thing, for Bart too I am sure. Oh, and I may or may not be on drugs right now...so don't judge my megan-is-high-so-she-is-rambling post.

I honestly didn't think having surgery would be this big of a deal. I guess because the only surgery patient I have seen was Bart when  he got his shoulder worked on, and he was good to go an hour after he was brought back, and a day after he was home he was feeling pretty good.

Definitely not current situation. I'll start at the top because 1. I have time to talk about all this B. I don't have anything else to do BUT talk about it because I can't find a good show to watch and 3. I am going to flatter myself and think you people actually care about all this. :)

So I get prepped for surgery and they take me up to my O.R. I then sit out in the hall chillin by myself for like an hour because when the chick left me there were still people in the O.R. (patient included) so they had to clean it and all that good stuff. So I lay in wait, singing primary songs in my head to calm myself down ( I need to learn more primary songs). Finally, a nurse and the anesthesiologist came over to chat with me, and took me inside. I then remember switching beds...but that's it when it comes to the actual surgery part.

The recovery room is where the action really began. All I remember is waking up and freaking the hell out. I couldn't see anything, my eyes wouldn't focus at all and I still had a breathing mask on, oh, and I was hyperventilating like no one's business. I had absolutely no control over it for a while and that freaked me out the most. The nurse kept yelling at me (yes, yelling) to stop breathing fast and try to "blow out the candles" but I couldn't! I am just really happy Bart wasn't in that room to see me because I feel like it would have been kind of a scary thing to watch. The mean nurse also kept yelling at me to stop itching my face, and to stop crying (even though I never cried, I was just breathing like it). The poor nice doctor came over to see how I was feeling and as soon as he touched my leg my little freak out session started all over again...Not my best moment. 

Moving right along (if you are still reading...bless you)

So when I finally come back to real life, they take me to my room and I all of a sudden realize that it hurts....really bad. My stomach from my belly button, all the way around the right side to my back was (and still is) on fire. I think I started crying at that point -still clearly high on anesthesia- and when Bart asked how I was doing I told him to not talk to me for a minute because I knew I would bust out the water works. That next minute though I told him to not make fun of me (he wasn't) and then I started crying..this was a weird day people I am telling you. Later I really had to pee but the nurse was taking a minute so I told Bart he better not make fun of me if I peed the bed ( I didn't) and I started crying again..

It took about 3.5 hours in that last room until I was able to sit up long enough without falling over, or potentially barfing up all 2 crackers I was allowed to eat, so I could go home. yay! Except that I still really hurt, can't move at all, and my throat really hurts, no doubt from the tube down my throat and my hyperventilating after.

Bottom line? Major abdominal surgery is a little different than shoulder surgery I am realizing...

The great news though? Bart fed me a few bites of his Mac and Cheese last night, something I haven't been able to eat for a few weeks, and it was the greatest thing of all time. Bart's mom also brought over a yummy edible fruit arrangement, and my momma brought some chicken noodle soup.


  1. Were you there Keri? Because no, I am so sorry I don't remember!



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