How to Make a Man Happy

Bart showed me this today on Facebook and I kind of turned into a crazy person. He said it was meant to be funny...and I just have a few opinions on that...


ORIGINAL POST:
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him with peace
4. Don't check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don't bother him with his movements

So what's so hard about that?

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:

It's really not too difficult but... To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a plumber
10. a mechanic
11. a carpenter
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. go shopping with her
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. never forget
*birthdays
*anniversaries
*valentine
*arrangements she makes

 I agree, women need all 50 things. I can probably add 50 things men also need. Let's see what I can do shall we?

MY VERSION
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
It's really not too difficult but...to make a man happy, a woman only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a mother
3. a sex toy
4. a best bud
5. a chef
6. a maid
7. a sports enthusiast 
8. a nurse
9. a mute
10. a sounding board
11. funny
12. athletic
13. smart
14. tender
15. understanding
16. sweet
17. passionate
18. creative
19. organized
20. ambitious

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
21. feed his ego regularly
22. make sure his favorite snacks are in stock
23. be honest (but not too...)
24. be very hot and sexy and maintain our bodies for 40+ years
25. not stress them out

AND AT THE SAME TIME YOU MUST ALSO:
26. give him attention when he needs it and NOT A MINUTE LATER
27. leave him alone on the couch for hours because he had a really stressful day
28. not text, call or contact too often because then you just look needy.

BUST MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
29. never forget
*he needs sex often and no, foreplay isn't required and yes, he will settle for a blow job.

Bottom line? Shut the hell up. Men aren't cavemen and they need just as much emotional stimulation as women do. Don't act like women are so hard to live with. Men.are.the.exact.same.

*Disclaimer, this is not a sneak peek into the life with Bart. A few things were inspired by him, but just like this original post, most of these things are based on sexist stereotypes.