I've really made an effort to let Mckenzie be Mckenzie- even when it's inconvenient for me.
You want to bring 4 stuffed animals with you in the car today?
|You want to stop here, unload your wagon and hang out? OK|
You're bringing a pile of your dirty laundry out on our walk?
You want to eat your lunch outside on the porch?
|You want to eat all the stale hamburger buns at once? OK|
You want to put your own shoes on even though we're 5 minutes late?
You want to dance around in the middle of the store because I fun song comes on?
OK- I'll join you.
|You want to wear your dress over your clothes on our trip to Target? Get it girl.|
Usually when I'm rushing out the door and she is stalling I'm irritated and tell her "come on, let's go!" but she always has a very reasonable thought process as to why she's being slow. She's looking for her hat. She wants to bring her OTHER blanket. She is finding her shoes.
I've had to slow down and realize my child has her very own thoughts. She is learning how to process reason and I need to treat her thoughts as valid as I would treat Bart's.
Obviously there's some restriction. You want a second popsicle? No. You don't want to get dressed this morning? Too bad (Usually- there have been a few times where it's so traumatizing to her to get dressed, but not very often)
I believe in boundaries and rules and in saying no. But I also don't think I need to say no to every unconventional thing she wants.
From the very beginning I could tell she was going to have a BIG personality. A friendly personality, and a personality I LOVED. I made a promise to myself that I would never apologize for her, for just being her.
She walks up to a different mom at the library and tries to sit on her lap to read a book (yes, this happens). I say something to that mom, but I don't ever say "sorry". Why would I? She isn't doing anything wrong.
I don't want my daughter growing up hearing her mom say to others "Sorry about her, she's just really friendly." or "Sorry! She just loves other people". Are those things bad? Are those things I want to change about her? Never. I'll apologize if she hits your kid (and then make her say sorry too) or if she breaks something. But I'm not going to say sorry just because she's braver than both of us.