One of the hardest things about having a new baby is how it has changed my marriage. The first few weeks it wasn't that I was so focused on Macs that I didn't notice Bart, it was the opposite. I missed him and needed him more than ever. I missed our countless hours of just us: hanging out at home, making dinner, watching TV, talking and joking. Just us. We don't have a lot of couple friends and we aren't super social because we just prefer to be home with our best friend. I missed my best friend almost immediately.
It didn't help that our baby came at the start of football season. Every year my best friend becomes very very busy and I don't see him much. In the past it hasn't bothered me and I have enjoyed my alone time to binge watch TV shows he refuses to watch and focus on myself. This football season has been a totally different ball game (see what I did there?). I hate football season this year. I hate having my husband gone for 12+ hours a day 5 days a week. I hate how exhausted he feels at the end of every day and I hate how weekends are no longer a chance for him to relax. I hate that I can't make him dinner every night and focus completely on his needs like I could before. I hate feeling like a single parent and that he only gets to see his daughter for a few hours (maybe) every day.
I am so incredibly blessed to have Bart as a husband. He has been so patient with me as we figure out this new chapter in our lives. Most days he doesn't let his exhaustion come first. On weekends he wants (and needs) to get a few extra hours of sleep, but gets up with the baby anyway because I ask him to. He is one of the most selfless people I know and I am so lucky to have his help and love.
It's so hard to have to switch your focus from your husband to your baby. At least it is for me. I give 100% of myself to my little girl every day, I have a hard time finding anything left for the love of my life. I hope things soon balance out, and I am going to sing praises and throw a huge celebration the day football season is over because that means I get my husband back and Macs gets her daddy!
Being a wife has never been hard for me before, but I find myself struggling with the juggle that is the mom and wife life. Thank goodness our life together has really just begun.
(and now we know...NO HAVING BABIES DURING FOOTBALL SEASON)