B: It's just a cornucopia of bull shit television
B: Like I said, I can't get mad at my students just for being stupid, but I can get mad at them for cheating.
B: What is this? A guy can't take a shit without losing his seat?
B: When a woman loses your stuff you just kinda accept it, but when she loses your head phones it's like what the hell woman!
M: (Talking to the TV) Ohh Snickers!
B: You're like that blueberry girl from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory
M: No, she chewed gum
B: Well you're like someone else but I think I'll get in trouble for saying it
B: that chubby boy who falls in the chocolate
M: ...ya, that sounds about right.
B: I don't know what happened. My alarm went off, but sub-conscious Bart is a smart son of a bitch and he turned it off.
B: Why are the sheets all twisted? We're not trying to climb down a freaking three story window
B: Looks can only take you so far in life babe, and you have about reached your capacity
For more funny things read THIS, THIS and THIS