Even More S%$@ Bart Says

B: I am going to one-up you until you die and then I'll die first

B: You can't just tell everything right away, you have to make the reader wait for it
M: Not in news writing
B: Well news writers are like whores, they give it all up right up front

B: I didn't spend thousands of dollars on my education just to have you ask me questions.

B: I'll just put our kid in diapers until they can make it through the first half without going to the bathroom

B: Now you're going to have to get me something awesome, like Robert Turbin's autograph...or his baby, either one

M: Is it open?
B: Well ya babe, it's a gas station
M: Well it just looks deserted
B: Yeah, because we are in the middle of nowhere
(p.s. the gas station WAS closed)

M: Metro-sexual is not Homosexual
B: Well it is right next door

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