S%&@ Bart Says

This is the first installment of S@%# that Bart Says:

B "What did you ever do without me?"
M "Take care of myself...?"
B "How? It's kind of a two person job."

M "What are you and your mom doing?"
B "Swapping recipes"

B "Don't sass me Meg." 

B "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a Bart, make what you can and be thankful you didn't get more lemons." 

B "Babe, you need to do a good job keeping me out of jail in the future."
M "Why?"
B "Because I am not very good at holding onto the soap."

B "I noticed some shoes you put in the box to throw away were still in pretty good condition."
M "Does that mean I can keep them!?"
B "No."

B "Do you know how to read a tape measure?"
M "Yes Bart."
B " I'm just making sure, I don't really know what you can do."

(On the drive home from our Honeymoon)
B "I am so glad we saw another Utah State Car. That's the best thing that has happened on this whole trip."

(After combining bank accounts)
B  "Now I know I am committed to you, you have access to all my money."
M "You don't have any money."
B  "Oh yeah..."

B " At some point today you are going to realize you have married a great man, at that point, anything is possible."

B "What are you going to do when I die? The Relief Society isn't going to bring you food forever."

B "You are clingy."
M "No I'm not!
B "Yes you are, you are like clothes right out of the dryer without a Bounce sheet."

B "You not letting me see that movie is like me not letting you buy shoes."
M "But you don't let me buy shoes."
B "Oh yeah."


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