Isn't it great that each morning is a new day? That we can be better than we were yesterday? Thank goodness for that. Yesterday I had a day. ya know, THAT kind of day. Pulling double duty at work, trying to focus on my Math class and feeling exhausted. My day went from meh to grrrrrr in just a matter of hours.
"do not enter. sidewalk closed" sign, thinking of all the smart-ass things I would say to any one who tried to stop me. (something along the lines of "Me and my 2K I gave you a month ago can walk wherever we damn well please). By the time I got to class the test had begun. I sat down with calculator and pencil in hand, pep talk going on in my mind. It was hard! It will be interesting to see what my grade will be. I hate not doing well in my classes, and I hate feeling not-smart when it comes to math.
So after my test I start the journey back to my car and at this point I'm super emotional. I'm fantasizing about all the candy I want to eat. Isn't that interesting? My mind goes immediately to food whenever I'm stressed (can I hear an amen??). I imagined going to the nearby convenience store and buying all the candy I wanted and just taking one bite from each thing. (I have tons of self control in my mind). Finally I call my mom because when the going gets tough, the tough call mom.
My mom has been my saving grace the past 11 weeks. She decided she was going to join me in this diet and we have been each other's cheerleaders. It's been an excellent idea! Not only have we grown closer in our relationship because we talk more often, we can relate to each other now more than ever. Last night I considered her my sponsor and I was the alcoholic about to step into a bar and have a cold one on the rocks. I sat in my car on the campus I hate crying about my life and how much I wanted some freakin' sugar. My mom said all the right things (as usual) and eventually I put the car in drive and headed home. Her final advice was just to have Bart hold me and fill that void that I needed filled with love, not sugar. (it worked).
I went to bed knowing I could start fresh in the morning. Today was a much better day. I'm still tired and a little stressed, but today I went running instead of dreaming of candy and I feel so much better.