But seriously, I'm not having twins.

2 days ago I got asked the question 'are you sure you're not having twins". The conversation  went something like this:

Her: Wow you have really popped
Me: Yep!
Her: Are you sure you're not having twins??
Me: Pretty sure...
Her: You just look really big for 4 months...
Me: Well maybe that's because I'm 5 1/2 months
Her:.......walks away

Fine. whatever. In my mind I punched her in the face and moved on. She hadn't seen me for 3 weeks or so so I chalked it up to small talk.

Today I had another conversation that really just pisses me off. I was with my coworkers (one who happens to be 3 weeks further along in her pregnancy than I am) and the guy turns to me and says,

Him: When is your due date?
Me: August
Him: Are you sure they didn't mix up you two? 
Prego girl: No no, I just carry mine differently (trying to be nice...which I appreciated)
Him: Are you sure you're not having twins??
Me: Pretty dang sure. What do you want me to do? Suck it in?
Him: Well I knew a girl who gained 80 pounds when she was pregnant
Me (in my mind) Who the hell said I have or will be gaining 80 pounds??
Me: I actually haven't gained that much weight, it's just how my body is holding it all...
Him: ....awkward pause walks away.

WTF? It's like being pregnant all of a sudden gives MEN a pass to talk about my body TO MY FACE. I don't care if you want to go chat about how big my belly is compared to the other prego girls at work, but do we really need to discuss it?

What exactly do you think a pregnant belly looks like? Do you understand that there is a BABY in there? Not only is there a baby, but there are my intestines, kidneys, stomach, bladder, liver and other internal organs that have to SHARE with the baby.

Women have different body types and so they look different pregnant. I have a longish torso so really, my belly isn't sticking straight out like a lot of other petite girls. I happen to have more space for everything to spread out instead of the basketball effect. I wasn't overweight when I got pregnant so this little girl made her bump debut maybe a little earlier than a woman who was carrying a few extra pounds when she got pregnant. I honestly don't know what a 5 month pregnant belly is "supposed" to look like and I honestly dont care. There is literally NOTHING I can do about the size of my belly so why the hell do we need to talk about it?

Me being pregnant doesn't just give you the green light to openly discuss the changes that are happening to MY body. Not only can I not control it, but I shouldn't have to worry about it either. Do you know how self concious it makes me feel to have everyone in the room looking at my belly as you discuss the correct sizing of baby bumps? Lucky for you I can let it slide after I vent about it.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm growing a little human right now which makes me better than you. So shut up and bring me a cookie.