Someone had to say it...

Can I just say, and I'm JUST being honest.....

I do not, nor will I ever, like your dog. I don't care how cute you think it is or if you have had it your whole life or if it is your best friend. I will not like it. Not only will I not like it, I will probably highly dislike it. No I don't want to pet it, no I don't want it to sit by me on the couch, no I don't want to play fetch with it. The thing I would like most in this situation is for you to GET IT AWAY FROM ME.

When I ask if you want gel in your hair after I cut it I do not need a whole list of reasons why you would or would not like gel. I don't care if you are going to head to the gym, then go to the grocery store, then go pick up your kids from school and then take a shower so gel won't be necessary.  I also don't need you to justify why you do want gel in your hair. If I didn't want you using my gel I wouldn't offer so before you head off to your wedding reception you have proceeded to tell me about, let me put some &%$# gel in your hair and shut up. please?

If you have decided to risk your life and the lives around you by talking on the phone/texting while you are driving do NOT get pissed when someone (me) honks at you when you are merging into a lane that is not only ending soon, but is currently occupied by another driver or two. Do not turn around and stare me down because I decided to not let you hit me today. You are an idiot and if you think you saw my middle finger go up you were probably right.


One last thing...Dear Uncle Sam. Stop taking all my money in taxes. The more I work the less my paychecks are which.....makes sense? Oh wait, NO. It doesn't. I'm all about getting out of debt and all and I am all for paying taxes but if you could make up a system that I understand, and while you are working on that if you could give me the half of my paycheck you love taking away from me so I could ya know, eat, that would be great.

xoxo