Pre-Pregnancy vs. Post-Pregnancy Body

Post pregnancy bodies. Don't mothers always have something to say about them? Maybe it's because it's such a new and unexplored experience. One minute you're at your "typical" size, then in a few months you start to get bigger...and bigger...and bigger...until you are literally ready to pop. But you don't really care, because your baby is inside of you kicking and moving and it's beautiful and magic.

Maybe you got stretch marks and dark spots. Maybe not. Either way, being pregnant makes you care a little less about your body, and focus more on what is happening inside of it.

At least that's how it was for me. 45 pounds? Don't care. I knew I was taking care of myself the best I could and my baby was healthy. 45 pounds never really bothered me.

Then I had my baby. Those first few weeks I felt tiny! Who cares about the number on the scale...I could see my toes and my shoes fit!! I was too exhausted to care about how much weight I was losing. I focused on recovering from a c-section and took walks every day for my sanity. My appetite for healthy things was back and I felt really good.

I felt amazing. My body not only did something incredible, but it was continuing to do incredible things (functioning on a few hours of sleep, holding an 8 pound thing all day, producing breast milk, loving something more than ever experienced before.)

My body kept changing even after my baby got here, and it's still changing. I've lost 35 of those 45 pounds. According to the scale I weigh less than when I was sick with Hashimotos. Silly scale. It doesn't paint the full picture does it?

It doesn't show my lopsided breasts or my small stretch marks.
It doesn't weigh my soft stomach differently or take into account the 6 inch scar that is still pink.
The number on the scale doesn't see my new mom-hips that I can't quite bring myself to embrace with a dress just yet.
It doesn't tell me that my jeans will fit my legs...but not my waist.
It doesn't explain how to dress when I have love handles for the first time in my life
It doesn't show my strong shoulders or buff arms.
It doesn't see that I am back to running and exercising
It can't feel my heart that has doubled since meeting my little girl. Or my mind that is always thinking of her future

My body will never be the same, but how can I expect it to? My life has changed forever because of the things my body was able to do. I'm sure one day the scale will say I am back to my "pre-pregnancy" weight. But I will never be back to my "pre-pregnancy" self - and that's OK