Day 118

I know I say this all the time, but it's hard to believe it's only been 118 days since this crazy Hashimotos journey started! It has officially become a lifestyle. I'm no longer fighting back habits and cravings, I just live my life "normal" and sometimes think back on my life "back when"

Back when I could drink milk and have cold cereal in the morning.
Bach when I "watched what I ate" but really if I wanted it, I'd have a piece
Back when I was the best taste tester on our shows
Back when I didn't have to obsess over everything that went into my mouth.

Back when I didn't understand what was wrong with my body

Back when my stomach hurt every. day.
Back when Bart would ask me all the time why my body acted like it was 80 years old
Back when running 3 miles seemed impossible and every step was painful.
Back when I couldn't lose weight and my self esteem was hitting an all time low.
Back when I hated doctors because they just gave me a new pill for the pain.
Back when I was starting to resent my body
Back when I didn't feel like I was ever going to be ready to be a mother because I could hardly take care of myself

When I'm having a hard day, I just think to "back when" my whole life was different. Was I happier in some areas of my life? Absolutely. But was I living a happy life? Not compared to the happiness I now live.

Now I realize a veggie omlet can be just as yummy as cereal
Now 3 miles are my easy weekday runs
Now I don't ever think "will I feel sick today" because my body is functioning the way it should
Now my few pieces of dark chocolate can be enjoyed, guilt free. And that small taste of sugar is enough.
Now I love my body and appreciate everything I'm able to do.
Now I can wake up ready for the new day confident I'll be able to tackle my responsibilities.
Now I can picture myself with babies and children and know I'll be able to be a good mother.
Now I'm living healthy, and living happy.

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