Staying home and hiding the credit card

I know when I'm having a bad day when:

Everything gets eaten. In the fridge, in the pantry. Healthy and not. e v e r y t h i n g

and/or

I have a huge irresistible desire to go to a store and just buy stuff. Like spend all my money on anything I have ever wanted. and other crap I need and want and stuff will make me happy RIGHT???

This isn't new. I've always been a shopper. I've had a job since I was 16 and until I was 20 it wasn't so I could pay all my bills (ha! 16 year old Meg, you have NO IDEA what bills are). I had a job and made money so I could buy things. Usually clothes and shoes. and buy things I did! My junior year in high school I'm pretty sure I didn't repeat an outfit. Out of clean clothes? Don't do laundry! I'll just go buy more. Several things hung in my closet with tags still attached until I finally got rid of them. If I walked into a mall/clothing store I came out a few hours later a few (!!) bucks poorer and several bags filled with stuff.

I know you want me to tell you it didn't make me happy and as I was shopping I was contemplating my life choices and had a moment where everything changed and NOW I'M CURED!!

But that would be a big fat lie. I freaking love to shop. It still makes me happy and cheers me up.The only time I haven't loved shopping and buying clothes was when I was pregnant because hello 45 extra pounds.

I stopped shopping because I got married. Not because I had to grow up and use my money more wisely. Not even because I realized that stuff doesn't make me happy (although I have come to accept that reality a little more since). No. I stopped because when I came home with lots of bags my new husband would look at them and then at me and demand to know why I "needed" that stuff. Silly boy. A girl doesn't really "need" any of this. THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I would yell.

After several fights as a newlywed I realized I had to give up my third best friend and favorite past time if my #1 best friend was going to stay married to me (happily) and trust me with the monies.

So these days I call myself a recovering shopaholic. And as a shopaholic I don't go shopping. An alcoholic knows to stay away from the bar. and I know to stay away from the mall. I go grocery shopping. If I'm feeling extra strong I go to Target. But NEVER in a bad mood. NEVER after a bad day.

So today I am staying indoors. Today there will be no shopping because if there is, tomorrow there will be no money in tha bank!

You're welcome Bart.

xo