Cold Asparagus and Imitation Crab

What is the worst meal you have ever eaten at a restaurant? Do you have a story to go along with it? Well this is now mine:

Bart comes home today with $150 cash for a football thing he did on Saturday. He waves it in my face and says "Date Night?" Well who could resist an offer like that? Not me! I ran upstairs, redid my makeup, put some red lipstick on and hopped in the car. After watching the Food Network yesterday Bart was really craving some crab so we headed for Market Street Grill. Since I can eat all things fishy I was pretty happy with this decision. I thought, fresh fish?! How delish! (haha!)

Anywho...we sit down and eventually I order a crab/shrimp salad. At $30 I was expecting heaven on a plate. When it got to our table let's just say I wasn't impressed. It looked like something I could have prepared myself. I should have taken a picture but instead I will try to paint you a picture.

Bagged Iceburg lettuce with a half a boiled egg, a few olives, one slice of red pepper, beets on the side, ONE piece of asparagus and a few spinach leaves on the corner of the plate. It was topped off with some imitation crab and a few tiny shrimp. Mmmmm doesn't that just sound appetizing???!

The real trouble started when I actually took a bite of said salad. The first thing I did was pick up the huge piece of asparagus and found out it was ICE COLD. WTF. A raw piece of asparagus?? Is that a thing? I took one bite and had enough. I was laughing at the table to Bart asking him if we were being punked.......why would someone not cook a delicious veggie like asparagus? They are always my favorite thing at a meal...WHEN THEY'RE COOKED......the next few bites I noticed something else....ZERO flavor. Keep in mind that the past 7 weeks I have been eating 100% FRESH food so I can taste something out of a bag a mile away. There was nothing on this plate that wasn't bagged, canned or frozen at some point.

Okay, so what? Plenty of places have bagged salads and frozen meat. Yes, but when you go to a restaurant that claims to have fresh fish you expect a little more. If I am paying $30 for a salad that shit better be hand picked from a tree you are growing outside and carefully placed on a freakin' golden platter. I could have bought imitation crab for $5 a pound at the grocery store, I expected a little more class from this place.

Don't even get me started on the other parts of the salad...the olives tasted like the inside of an aluminum can (coincidence?) and I didn't even dare to try the boiled eggs...the beets weren't even separated from their canned state and just sat nicely in a pile on the side. I was so blown away by how horrible this meal was! When the server came around to ask how things were I told her (very nicely) that nothing on my plate had any flavor and obviously it wasn't fresh. She offered to take it away and have me try something else. I ordered the shrimp cocktail just to get this experience over with.

Bringing out that shrimp cocktail just opened up a whole new can of worms. Since I can't eat the cocktail sauce I popped one of the huge shrimp in my mouth plain...I'm lucky I didn't barf all over the table. It took me a solid 2 minutes to finish chewing the thing without gagging all over my plate. It was straight up frozen shrimp completely void of any flavor as well! Are you kidding me?!?! At this point Bart and I are both laughing. We just couldn't believe how horrible this meal was turning out to be. I made him finish it off because I couldn't be forced to choke down anymore food from this place.

The only thing I ended up eating were the green beans off of Bart's plate and I'm pretty sure they were slathered with butter which is why I was inhaling them like crack (shhhh don't tell the doc). In the end we gave the server a pretty generous tip and made Market Street Grill black listed. I have NEVER sent a plate of food back because I didn't like it. I have put up with a few unimpressive meals....but this one takes the cake. Nothing about it was acceptable. Luckily for us we ended up with a good laugh and a funny story to tell....even if I still am hungry....