Baby Macs' First Week

Day 1- August 5 Tuesday

Stopped by for my last doctor appointment before my scheduled c-section on the 8th. Turns out I was in labor ( so THAT'S what that pain is...) and my doc told me we were having our baby tonight! (My whole birth story and pics coming soon)

Heading to the hospital!

McKenzie Scott Bowen came into this world feet first at 7lb 15 oz 20 in small. I heard her beautiful cry from the operating table and saw Bart hold his daughter for the first time. The rest of the day was a blur as I came out of anesthesia and took in my whole new world.

Less than 2 hours old

Day 2 Wednesday

One of my favorite pics of our bright eyed angel baby

Spent the day in bed since I couldn't really get up and down just yet as my incision healed. Had lots of visitors come see us. My sweet baby girl slept in her crib beside me and daddy Bart helped all day. It went by quickly, figuring out how to breast feed (it hurt!)...being asked if she had a wet diaper (not yet) and had my vitals checked every few hours. Bart had fallen completely in love with this little "thing" and I was still in a bit of shock that that "thing" was ours

Day 3 Thursday

don't worry..that's my arm not my boob :)

Still can't get out of the hospital bed very well.  This little one is the brightest eyed newborn you have ever seen. So alert with her dark blue eyes and happy! Never really cried and just liked looking at everyone. She was especially bright eyed at 1 a.m. At this point I don't think I had slept for more than an hour at a time but the mommy adrenaline was still pumping through me. Have I mentioned the hospital food? Because it was delicious. All I wanted was veggies and "healthy stuff" which is weird since I avoided it like the plague my whole pregnancy.

Day 4 Friday

Can we go home yet? Nope, one more day. Macs is totally healthy and rocking all of her tests and check ups. She is still bright eyed as ever...didn't they say newborns slept the majority of the day?? Not this one...I am now avoiding the bed as much as possible and can get up and down slowly. Incision is healing nicely and the pain meds are lovely. Bart and I could stare at this little one all day. I  maybe got a 2 hour nap in...

Day 5 Saturday

All dressed up and ready to go home!

Staples removed, baby checked, discharged from hospital. Mom and mother-in-law come over to help us get settled in. Apparently I look extremely tired...I am. McKenzie is still such a happy baby. Isn't fussy at all and is bright eyed and awake ready for attention. The fact that she doesn't cry makes the lack of sleep a little easier to handle

Day 6 Sunday

Seeing her sweet face was the only thing keeping me sane and happy at this point...

The first night home from the hospital and I was convinced we weren't going to survive it. Finally broke down in complete tears around 3 a.m. and had Bart cuddle with her. She isn't sleeping. She eats and then is wide awake. She eventually will doze off but only if someone will hold her. Mom can't sleep when she's holding the baby. I can finally understand why people would be interested in co-sleeping with their babies (don't worry..I didn't) I spend the day on and off in tears totally exhausted. Never get the chance to nap and dreading nighttime.

Day 7 Monday

Are those eyes closed???

Nighttime was the complete opposite from the night before. Macs ate, stayed awake for about an hour after and then eventually fell asleep in her bed next to ours for about an hour, sometimes two. I still didn't sleep. When I finally got the chance my mind was racing...but I could see a potential future. Her eating is random and she isn't acting satisfied. Breastfeeding is from the devil and I hate it. At this point I am crying over EVERYTHING and Bart is worried. The tears aren't associated with any negative feelings toward the baby though and I tell him it's just all those crazy hormones! I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by breastfeeding and am so tired.

Day 8 Tuesday

taking ANOTHER nap (it's a miracle) and enjoying a walk

Another night different from the others. Not as bad as Sunday, not as good as Monday. Macs goes over 3 hours without sleeping. I feed, attempt to put her down and eventually it's just time to feed again. She is so exhausted and finally has a legitimate cry session. Bart says he has never heard her cry that hard before...me either. I'm emotional and frustrated that I don't know how to make my happy baby sleep. I can tell she isn't getting the rest she needs, despite her happy bright eyes 90% of the time. She finally falls asleep 2:30-5 am and so does mom! Hallelujah. I feel better already. She takes another 90 minute nap at 7 and so do I.

After feeding her around 8:30 I am in so much pain I am sobbing and crying. I am ready to quit breastfeeding altogether. I call my pediatrician and ask for the lactation consultant. We talk (and by talk I mean I cry) and she tells me this shouldn't be painful at all. Stop immediately and let my nipples heal, next week I will meet with her and we will figure it out. I run to the store to get bottles and learn how to use my breast pump. Angel baby sleeps for 2 and a half hours while I get everything figured out.

The lactation consultant says I have been pumping cortisol into my milk because I am so stressed about feeding. No wonder she isn't sleeping! Bart's joke about her being a "crack baby" is a little closer to the truth than I would like. I pump and Bart feeds her. Happy as a clam she immediately wants to go back to sleep. An hour later she wakes up ready for more! I got to feed her this time and start crying tears of joy because this is the first time I have enjoyed feeding my daughter. This is the first time I haven't dreaded her waking up and it's the first time I can enjoy her sweet face and tiny fingers wrapped around mine.

It's the end of day 8 and I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who heard the prayers of a scared, frustrated and overwhelmed new mom. I don't know what tonight or tomorrow will be like, but I know we will be able to get through it.