S%$@ Bart Says

(talking to his dad on the phone and he asks How's Megan)

B- I think she's dead
(dad says something)

B- Well I put a pillow over her face and she's stopped kickin' so.....

(Walking through the men's department and sees a pair of skinny jeans)
B- What's up with these pants? Where does the penis go?

 

(still walking through the men's department)

B- What do hipsters wear to formal events? Their grandmas best flannel?

B-People need to stop inconveniencing  the world with their horrible driving 

B- This isn't where my screw driver goes. I bet The Situation doesn't have to worry about this kind of stuff with Snookie

M- Are you comparing me to Snookie? 

B- Well you certainly aren't JWow 

B- I want some chocolate 

M- It's 70% dark

B- Gross! 70% dark chocolate is like eating a vegetable 

Ya know what Megan? Just stay pretty over there. I don't need your help