The crappy part of this health journey

Ugh. Health. It's a &%$@& sometimes isn't it??

I've been dealing with a Hashimotos flare up lately and it's been really hard to stay positive and not just say screw it. At the end of my 6 month treatment I felt so good. The best I can remember feeling my entire life. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. I felt like I was able to find a pretty good balance and I had adjusted to all the changes I had to make. I was good. So good, that I was able to get pregnant! I had a healthy pregnancy and I had a beautiful healthy baby girl. And it's all been downhill from there.

But Megan, you aren't eating as good as you use to. You aren't as strict. You aren't as obsessed. And you're right. I'm not. and I don't think I will ever be able to be that strict again. It's just not worth it to me to obsess about everything that goes into my mouth when I feel like I have better things to worry about. See my dilemma? Obsess and feel good. Or don't obsess, live life and feel not as good. Is there a happy medium when it comes to an autoimmune disease? If there is I'm just not seeing it right now.

I am so happy with so many aspects of my life right now, but my health isn't one of them. I haven't been able to progress in my running like I was hoping to, I still have 10 pounds to lose from my baby weight and my energy level is pretty low. It's hard because I know how good I could feel, and yet I'm not there. Even my doctors have told me that I shouldn't have to live a completely strict original diet to feel good. But I just don't know if I want to keep spending money to figure out all the little details of what might be wrong with me. I know it was worth it before, but it's starting to feel like a never ending money pit.

I have always felt like balance is the most important thing in life and especially in health. What's the point of having a perfectly healthy body if you can't have a healthy and sane mind along with it? I know health is a constant journey. I just don't like this part!

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