Jalapeño debacle of 2011

I must say that I don't really get hurt that often.

I  have never broken a bone or needed stitches or surgery

My injuries are a little different than the typical it seems.

Exibit A? Yesterday getting ready for the Super Bowl. 


I was helping Bart and Laura clean out Jalapeños for an appetizer they were making, no big deal right? I only did like one or two and then went to sit down because the kitchen was too crowded. I washed my hands with the soap provided for me at the kitchen sink and then walked away. As I sat down I touched my eye. I didn't rub it, I didn't sit there with my finger touching it. I just flicked the corner of my eye and then all hell broke loose.


It started with just a faint burning sensation. I said "oh no" and ran to the bathroom because I knew what I had done, I just didn't know how bad it was about to get. I splashed water in my eye for a few minutes but nothing was helping. I then finally called for Bart to come help me. We spent probably the next 5 minutes rinsing my eye out and it wasn't getting better. If anything, it was getting worse. I am not trying to be dramatic here but it felt like I had a really bad sunburn on my face and eyes and someone was sitting there scratching said sunburn as hard as possible.


Then comes Brian with a cut potato saying if I held this to my eye it would take the pain away...so I did. At this point it was still only my left eye that was on fire so I just laid on the couch with this potato smooshing my eye hoping it would go away. It didn't. In fact, it started spreading. So here I am, at my future in-laws house silently bawling my eyes out while everyone cooked. Finally Bart came over to check on me and realized it was just getting worse, my whole face was burning now. Everyone whipped out the Google machine and found that pouring milk into my eye might help....so that is exactly what Bart did. He was laughing the whole time, but dutifully poured milk into my eyes to try and alleviate the pain. That didn't help either.


Finally I called my mom at the hospital and she gave us Poison Control's number. We called and the lady must have gotten this problem all the time because she knew what to do right away. She said we needed to rise it for a full 15 min and then see what happens.


This is when the torture began. For the next 15 minutes I came as close as I hope I ever get to being water boarding. I leaned my head back into the tub as Bart proceeded to pour water over my eyes/face for 15 min strait. It was terrifying and painful and I was crying and whimpering like a little girl the entire time. It was probably the worst experience I can think of.


After the longest 15 minutes of my life, we led me to the couch and had me lay down. People went back to the kitchen to continue working...not even 20 seconds later my whole entire face was on fire, twice as bad as before. It came on so suddenly that I jumped up from the couch and started crying all over again.


It was then that Brian and Stan gave me a blessing and Bart just held me as a cried it out. I am proud to say that everything settled down in time to start watching the game at the 2nd quarter. Robert kept welcoming me into the family saying this was all a part of the initiation process...if that's the case, I am sure glad I only have to do it once! My whole future family got to see me cry like a baby for an hour straight, it was kind of humiliating.


Ladies and Gentlemen, this little episode is going on my top three of most painful injuries/experiences of my young life. I will think twice before touching my eyes ever again.