2 Cents- But Really, Marriage Isn't for You

A few days ago a blog post called "Marriage Isn't For You" surfaced on Facebook and made its way across cyber space. Initially it was only positive things being said about this article. When I read it I thought it was great advice. Some of the advice I got in my own marriage ceremony was always focus on the other person's happiness and your own happiness will follow.

Within a day other articles surfaced saying this guy was wrong. Marriage is about sacrifice, but you can't give up your own wishes and dreams to do it...which brings me to my "2 Cents" on this article: "Why Man's 'Marriage Isn't For You' Essay Misses the Mark"

One specific part of the article bothered me,

"The message can also be confusing to women, innate providers to begin with, says Bonior. Culture encourages this maternal instinct from childhood by giving little girls dolls to care for, and this mentality often carries over into adulthood, sometimes to extreme levels. We already know that women do the lion’s share of chores and childcare, but they work longer hours outside the home, too, according to a recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center. The average number of hours per week that men spend at their jobs has declined from 42 to 37 between 1965 and 2011. Meanwhile, women have increased their office time from 8 hours to 21 hours. “If women are taught to further put their personal needs on the back burner, what would their lives look like?” asks Bonior."

blah blah blah blah blah

Call me a woman hater...but SERIOUSLY? get over yourself ladies. From my personal experience putting your partner's needs first doesn't limit your own happiness. it doesn't take away your chance to fulfill your dreams. it doesn't mean put your own life on the backburner. It means creating a life TOGETHER. If you are putting your husband's needs first, and he is putting your needs first, then technically both of your lives are going exactly the way you want them to.

 "Putting the other person first" doesn't eliminate the idea of compromise, it just helps with it. Who wants something more? what is better for the family? That is the decision you make...whether it was your first choice or not. The door swings both ways and the less selfish YOU are in YOUR marriage...the happier it will be. 

This has nothing to do with women's rights and equality in the bedroom. It's simply one man's opinion of what it takes to have a successful marriage. and I happen to agree with him. 

Loving my husband with all I have, focusing on his needs, helping him accomplish his dreams and making him happy doesn't make me less of a woman. it doesn't degrade me or undo all the things women have worked for. 

When I married him we committed to making each other happy, and focusing on each others needs...and loving each other. 

so yes...marriage isn't for me.