- insert swear words here -

 &$%#@*&%$&#&@ $*&#(*

That is how I feel right now. Today was one of those days that makes this blog so much fun to read. I have so much to say...where to begin?


Well the first, and probably the only thing I will say about work today is that I hate children. Yes that means your children too if you have them. This hate will probably leave me eventually but as of right now, I hate children. I hate how they move their heads THE ENTIRE HAIR CUT. Making it IMPOSSIBLE to do my job. I dont think mothers understand how hard it is to cut their daughters hair straight when they keep moving. If your child moves in the middle of me cutting her hair, yes it is going to be uneven. No I am not going to feel bad about it.


It was attack of the children today at work and by 3:45 I had about had it. I had to step away from a child's head and take deep breaths before I did something I was going to regret...like chop a huge chunk off and blame it on her squirmy head. I know younger kids have short attention spans but COME ON PEOPLE this was ridiculous. If you have children, please set them on a chair for 10 min. and make them hold still. practice over and over again before you take them to get their hair cut because a simple 10 min hair cut turns into25 painful minutes for the both of us if your child keeps moving. 

I have officially decided work is the best birth control out there. Have a little #$%& in your seat for 10 minutes and you will never want to reproduce. It was a good thing my shift was over for the sake of every child out there because at the end of work today, I could have punched a baby and not felt bad about it.


Another thing. Dont freak out in the middle of me washing your hair and ask what time it is. If you had somewhere to be anytime soon, you should tell me that before I even start cutting your hair, not when I am elbow deep in shampoo taking care of your nasty scalp. It is not my problem you have half an hour to get home and still havent done your grocery shopping. Trust me, if I could just kick you out with a sopping wet head of hair I would, but I cant so shut up, lean back, and let me rinse you out. 

Dear van I had to follow all the way home: THE SPEED LIMIT IS NOT 15 MILES PER HOUR. STEP ON THE GAS OLD MAN, I PROMISE YOU WILL NOT DIE... unless you don't hurry up and then I might just run you off the road for my own sanity. Seriously people. It is only snow! There is no need to go that slow....ever. ever ever ever. 


The rest of the night should be better though...besides the fact that I have to make 235 cookies tonight....NBD.


Update:


I went to Texas Roadhouse tonight with the girls I work with and it inspired me to update this i-hate-today blog.


#1. When I call in and say there will be 7 people eating, I mean 7. No we do not want to squish into a booth because of your bad planning. Your bad, not mine.


#1-A. To the lady with a poof 2 feet tall: You, your husband, and your baby do not need an extra table. We clearly needed that table and you felt the need to keep it for yourself. I know your hair is big, but I feel like even it's own table is a little much...


#2. Dear Waiter: I hate you and I hope you choke on some peanuts tonight. I am sorry that I was able to drink my half filled Dr. Pepper in the time it took you to go get us some more rolls. Maybe if you didn't take 20 minutes it wouldn't seem like I was drinking so much. Also, it is your job to refill my drinks. I am sorry that your job sucks but you chose it so shut up and do your job. While you are at it, try not to act butt hurt when we ask you to take some plates away from our crowed table that you assigned 7 people to when it usually sits 4.  Once again, it is your JOB to remove plates from my table. I don't know what you were expected to do tonight when you came to work but I am pretty sure we weren't being that difficult.


#3. Texas Roadhouse is a loud place. We all know this. However, that doesn't give you the right to be an ass. If you don't respond to a comment, we are going to assume you didn't hear it. We will then repeat our request, after this repeat, do not snap back that you heard us. Just shut up, and get our rolls.


Texas Roadhouse is blacklisted until further notice. (Along with Pizza Hut and McDonalds)


On a happy note, I got a COOKIE SCOOPER from my coworker. Yay.